Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chaffee signs the marriage equality bill into law.

This past week, Rhode Island became the 10th state (plus the District of Columbia) to legalize marriage equality for lesbian and gay couples.  The Rhode Island victory is a particularly sweet victory for Catholics since the state is one of the densest Catholic states in the union.

ABCNews reports:

“Ten U.S. states — including a long uninterrupted swath from New York to Maine — now allow gay and lesbian couples to marry now that gay marriage legislation has been signed into law in heavily Catholic Rhode Island.

“Gays, lesbians, their friends and families erupted into cheers Thursday following a final 56-15 vote in the Rhode Island House, and then again an hour later when Gov. Lincoln Chafee signed the bill into law on the Statehouse steps.”

The Huffington Post noted that the victory came “after a 16-year effort to extend marriage rights in this heavily Roman Catholic state.”

The news of Rhode Island’s marriage equality victory did not sit well with the Diocese of Providence’s Bishop Thomas Tobin, who was a chief opponent of the bill.  WPRI reports that he gave a warning to the state’s Catholics about attending marriages of lesbian and gay couples:

“Bishop of Providence Thomas Tobin said Thursday he was ‘profoundly disappointed’ that Rhode Island leaders have decided to allow same-sex marriage and warned Catholics to think hard before going to the weddings of local gays and lesbians.

” ‘Catholics should examine their consciences very carefully before deciding whether or not to endorse same-sex relationships or attend same-sex ceremonies, realizing that to do so might harm their relationship with God and cause significant scandal to others.’ “

You can read Tobin’s full response here.

Tobin’s advice is not well-thought out.  Many factors come into play when someone decides whether or not to attend any event.  Most important for the majority of people is the relationship one has with those who are celebrating.  The true scandal would be if people were to ignore their personal relationships when making decisions about what to do.

Catholics, in vast numbers, support marriage equality, as the Rhode Island victory illustrates.  I doubt that any Catholics who support LGBT equality will follow Tobin’s suggestion.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

Tagged: Bishop Thomas Tobin, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Gay, lesbian, LGBT, Lincoln Chafee, marriage equality, Providence, Rhode Island, Same-sex marriage

St. Patrick’s Cathedral

New York-area Catholics who support LGBT-inclusion in the Catholic Church are meeting at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, Fifth Avenue, Manhattan, this Sunday, May 5, 2013, to attend the 10:15 Mass with dirty hands.

The silent vigil is in response to New York Cardinal Timothy Dolan’s blog post from a week ago in which he compared lesbian and gay people coming to church to children showing up to dinner with dirty hands.    He used this analogy to say that it was permissible for church leaders to welcome lesbian and gay people to church, but that the leaders needed to remind them that they needed to clean themselves up.   You can read Bondings 2.0′s commentary on Dolan’s blog post here.

Joseph Amodeo, the organizer of this vigil, offers the following explanation and logistical information:

“This Sunday, we’ll respond to Cardinal Dolan’s article that called upon gay people to wash their hands before entering the church. We’ll be attending 10:15am Mass with charcoaled hands, so as to stand in solidarity with LGBT people. This will not be a protest, it will be a silent and powerful witness to our belief that God welcomes all. We’ll meet in front of Barnes & Noble on 5th Ave and 46 St. We’ll distribute charcoal there and then proceed as a group to St. Patrick’s Cathedral. All people are welcome to join us in this act of solidarity. Please be sure to arrive on time at 9am at Barnes & Noble. If you have questions, email me at joseph.amodeo@gmail.com.”

Amodeo has set up a Facebook event for this vigil which can be viewed here.

New Ways Ministry encourages all in the New York metropolitan area who support LGBT Catholics to show up to this event.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

 

 

Tagged: Cardinal, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, dirty hands, Fifth Avenue, Gay, Joseph Amodeo, lesbian, LGBT, Manhattan, New York, St. Patrick's Cathedral, Timothy M. Dolan

Dignity/Detroit, an organization of LGBT Catholics, will be celebrating their 39th anniversary this weekend, though the event threatens to be shadowed by a protest staged by conservative Christians who object to the fact that a Catholic college hosts the group’s meetings.

Dignity/Detroit, a chapter of Dignity/USA,  is celebrating their anniversary with a Mass, in the Sacred Heart Chapel of Marygrove College, a school run by the Sisters of the Immaculate Heart of Mary.  Bishop Thomas Gumbleton, a retired auxiliary of Detroit and a longtime advocate for LGBT equality, will be the principal celebrant and homilist.  The Mass is scheduled for Sunday, May 5, 2013, at 6:00 p.m.

The Associated Press reports that a coalition of conservative Christian groups are planning to protest the event:

‘American Family Association Michigan President Gary Glenn said Thursday that he has asked Archbishop Allen Vigneron to enforce Vatican policies on homosexuality and intervene.

” ‘By allowing the use of its campus chapel by a homosexual activist group that is harshly critical of Catholic doctrine regarding marriage and homosexual behavior, Detroit’s Marygrove College is violating a Vatican directive expressly banning the use of facilities at Catholic colleges by such groups,’ the association said in an email.”

But the Mass will go on.  The Archdiocese of Detroit has take a neutral position on the matter:

” ‘There are hundreds of Masses celebrated in the Detroit archdiocese every weekend,’ archdiocese spokesman Ned McGrath said. ‘It’s always Archbishop Vigneron’s expectation that these liturgies are conducted in full conformity with the Catholic Church‘s teachings and practices.’ “

And Dignity remains undaunted by the threat of protest:

“The group also was aware that protests were expected Sunday, said Dignity USA executive director Marianne Duddy-Burke. She said the group simply hopes to be able to pray in safety.

” ‘Our faith is very important to us,” Duddy-Burke said. ‘Most Catholics would be appalled to know that fellow Catholics cannot easily access our sacraments, have a Mass. We also believe we are all children of a loving God and should be able to worship in peace.’ “

New Ways Ministry encourages all its supporters in the Detroit metropolitan area to show up at the liturgy to support the Dignity chapter.  It will be wonderful not only to support the group in their time of duress, but also to celebrate 39 years of ministry, service, prayer, and community with them.  For more information, visit the chapter’s website.  Marygrove College is located at 425 McNichols Road, West,  Detroit, Michigan 48221.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

Tagged: American Family Association, Catholic, Catholic Church, Detroit, DignityUSA, Marianne Duddy-Burke, Marygrove College, Michigan, New Ways Ministry, Thomas Gumbleton

Fr. Roberto Francisco Daniel

Fr. Roberto Francisco Daniel resigned from his priestly duties after the Diocese of Bauru, Brazil, requested that he retract statements made in a YouTube video that support equal rights for gay and lesbian people. Now, the Diocese of Bauru has excommunicated him with charges of “heresy” and “schism” for refusing to remove the video and apologize.

The video and the priest’s decision to resign were reported on by Gay Star News:

“‘For me it has become impossible to live the Gospel in an institution where freedom of thought and freedom of expression are not respected.’

“Known affectionately as ‘Father Beto’, to his parishioners, the former priest announced on a YouTube video that the Church should accept all loving relationships.

‘We should simply be considered as gendered beings and not as “homosexuals” or “bisexuals” since love can spring at all these levels,’ said Father Beto in his video.

The community’s response to Fr. Beto’s resignation has been one of overwhelming support. Over a thousand people gathered for his farewell Mass last Sunday, with those in attendance flowing into the streets as the priest preached his last homily, which focused on the theme of acceptance. He left the church to applause, tears, and continued support, and later posted on social media:

“‘Jesus loved all human beings without prejudice. He loved them all, regardless of their social status, race, or sexuality.’

“‘I feel honored to be on the list of the many persons who have been killed or burned alive for thinking and seeking knowledge. I’m grateful to the Diocese of Bauru.’”

Fr. Beto is a well-known author and media personality in Brazil and taught in higher education, in addition to fourteen years of priestly ministry in the local community. Yet, interestingly in the case of his excommunication, the priest is suffering due to his digital presence. The blog Iglesia Descalza reports on the novel combination of social media and unorthodox opinions:

“In the end, however, it was his Internet presence that brought Padre Beto’s career as a priest to a close. Like any modern priest in touch with the younger generation, Padre Beto has a Facebook page, a Twitter account, and his own web site. In the videos he posted on his web site, Padre Beto expressed views such as those quoted above…

“In his statement on his intent to resign from the priesthood, Padre Beto added: ‘I sincerely hope that the Church will once again be, as it was in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, a Church in which all its members have the right to think and express themselves freely, creating true communion in faith in Christ. I also hope that the Church will be open to scientific development and the new realities that we are experiencing in our contemporary society so that it (the Church) doesn’t commit injustice and isn’t an obstacle to human happiness.’”

It appears that Fr. Beto is not only ahead of the hierarchy in reaching out across the internet, but also about confronting the modern realities that science, psychology, and society bring to the conversation on LGBT issues. New Ways Ministry applauds him for his courage in following conscience and seeking truth, even in the face of such punishments.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Bauru, bisexual, Bishop, Brazil, canon law, Catholic, Christ, christianity, Church, clergy, excommunication, faith, Fr. Roberto Francisco Daniel, Gay, gay marriage, Homosexuality, Jesus New Ways Ministry, lesbian, LGBT, marriage equality, priest, queer, religion, Same-sex marriage, Transgender

Nicholas Coppola

Bondings 2.0 has been covering the story of Nicholas Coppola, a gay Catholic volunteer lay minister at a parish on Long Island, N.Y., who was dismissed from his parish ministries because an anonymous letter-writer alerted the pastor that Coppola married his long-time partner.   We reported on the announcement of his dismissal, we reported on his collection of over 18,000 signatures on a petition for his re-instatement, and we reported on the bizarre response he received from his bishop to that petition.

Today we feature a Bondings 2.0 exclusive interview with Mr. Coppola on what the experience of his dismissal has been like, as well as how he has responded to the amazing outpouring of support he has received from Catholics all over the country.  The interview gives a personal insight into this faith-filled man.

Coppola has also initiated another petition, this one to New York’s Cardinal Timothy Dolan, asking the prelate to break bread with Coppola and his family.  You can sign that petition here.

The Interview:  Nicholas Coppola

How did you come to your decision to publicly announce that the pastor had dismissed you from parish ministries?
It was a very difficult decision. At first, I thought I could meet with Bishop Murphy and have a dialogue about my removal. I was hopeful that if Bishop Murphy took the time to get to know me and David, it might soften his heart and realize that gay married couples are the same as any other loving couple. After two meetings with Auxiliary Bishop Brennan, his response was that “his hands are tied.” Then, after hearing Cardinal Dolan’s comments on Easter Sunday about the Catholic Church needing to do a better job with expressing their welcome to gay and lesbian people, I knew my story needed to be told.

Have you had any interaction with the pastor since your story made news?
I see Fr. Nicholas Lombardi on a regular basis as I have in the past. This is due to the fact that my attendance at Mass has not changed and St. Anthony’s parishioners continue to welcome and support us.

Are you still a parishioner at the parish? How are other parishioners reacting to your dismissal?
I will remain a parishioner as long as I have the support of other parishioners, and they have been incredibly supportive. Even as things in the public arena have quieted down, the parishioners are still asking for answers to their questions. They have written letters and have made phone calls to both the Pastor and Bishop William Murphy. I believe this has actually brought the St. Anthony’s Community closer together.

Did you ever think of leaving Catholicism because of being dismissed?
No. The Catholic Church is my foundation, how I was raised by my parents.

What has sustained you spiritually as you have been going through this ordeal?
I described it to a group of people the other day as becoming “spiritually independent.” I don’t rely on the brick and mortar of the church to maintain my relationship with God. I am so thankful to the Jesuits for the blessing of learning Ignatian spirituality: “Find God in all things.” I did the Jesuit spiritual exercises several years ago, and it was an incredible experience.

If you had an opportunity to meet with Bishop Murphy and/or Cardinal Dolan, what would you tell them?
I would start by telling them our story. They need to know who we are and who our families are. I will not be telling them anything that they don’t already know: that there are many gay and lesbian people and their families who are a vibrant part of the Catholic Church. I would want them to know how much we love our Church.

You collected 18,000 signatures on a petition to be re-instated. I imagine the overwhelming support that you have received has strengthened you. Can you tell us a little bit about what that experience has felt like?
The experience of support is not realized until after it happened. Reading some of the comments people wrote about what my story meant to them, hearing people’s stories of struggle and joy was all amazing. They asked me to continue on in my search for justice.

We have seen a number of stories recently of gay and lesbian church workers and volunteers being dismissed from their jobs and ministries. What advice do you have for LGBT people working in the church?
It is our Church. Nobody can remove you from your faith. Share your story.

What have you learned from this experience?
God’s Love for all is real and unconditional.

What are your hopes for the future?
My hopes are that gay and lesbian people, married or not, are loved, accepted, and respected in the church. We are past needing the support from people in the pews. We have it. We now need it from the hierarchy. My short term hope is to have a meeting with Cardinal Dolan to help him welcome lesbian gay people in the church.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Cardinal, Cardinal Dolan, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Coppola, Easter, Gay, gay marriage, LGBT, Long Island, marriage equality, Nicholas Coppola, Same-sex marriage, St. Anthony's, Timothy M. Dolan

Jason Collins

Splashed across the cover of Sports Illustrated this week is Jason Collins, the first athlete on a male professional sports team to come out as gay. Collins has been celebrated across the sports world and the internet, but he has also faced harsh criticism. Jesuit Fr. James Martin posted the Collins’ story, and then provided lengthy remarks about why Catholics should support the athlete’s coming out without reservation. Fr. Martin writes:

“There are many times that Catholics are called to support their gay brothers and sisters wholeheartedly, unreservedly and publicly. This is one of them. All of us are created by God, and all of us have an undeniable and unassailable human dignity. And part of that dignity is accepting that you are a beloved creation of God. For many gays and lesbians, however, accepting that they are beloved creations of God is a

very difficult task, made more difficult by a variety of social pressures. ‘Coming out’ is often an important step, sometimes the most important step, to a deeper relationship with God, and to spiritual wholeness…

James Martin, SJ

“Loving means first accepting a person, in all their complexity and beauty, as God has created him or her. This kind of love precedes questions about judging the actions of any person–straight or gay. Besides, we know how Jesus felt about our judging others. Love precedes all of that. True love means loving a person as he or she is–not as we would wish them to be, or as we think they should be, or worse, as we think God should have created him or her. But as they are.

“As the Psalmist says, ‘I praise you God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.’ We should be grateful to Mr. Collins for reminding us that all of us are indeed ‘wonderfully made.’”

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: athlete, bisexual, Catholic, Church, coming out, Dignity, faith, Gay, God, James Martin SJ, Jason Collins, Jesuit, lesbian, LGBT, NBA, priest, religion, sports, Transgender

Fr. Frederico Lombardi

Recent comments by a Vatican spokesperson are prompting many LGBT Catholic advocates to cautiously believe Rome is endorsing civil unions for same-gender couples, and some posit this shifting position is a result of lay pressure which could have concrete benefits.

According to Queering the Church, Jesuit Fr. Frederico Lombardi, the Vatican’s spokeperson, endorsed civil unions while speaking about the passage of marriage equality in France last week. Translations differ, as the original source for his comments is in Italian, but Terence Weldon provides this:

“[When] we then asked him for his evaluation of the final parliamentary approval by the French National Assembly of the anthropological revolution in the family sphere, Father Lombardi said ‘it is a good thing for a child to know it has a father and a mother’: one has to ‘clearly show that marriage between one/a man and one/a woman is a fundamental institution in the history of mankind. This does not mean that one cannot recognise in some way other forms of union between two persons.’”

The implications of Fr. Lombardi’s comments could be wide-ranging, although Weldon and others urge caution, given how heavily qualified these remarks are. Weldon continues:

“Irrespective though, of this particular incident, it is clear that change is in the air. Fr Lombardi is of course not a bishop, but he is the official spokesman for the pope, and highly respected for the skill with which he conducts his task…His response to the question will be widely interpreted as reflecting the thinking of Pope Francis himself, and will encourage many more bishops who up to now have been supportive but unwilling to speak out publicly, to do so…

“Compared with the secular shift [towards full marriage equality], Catholic bishops’ thinking has been excruciatingly slow – but compared with its usual reluctance to adapt, this shift has been equally remarkable – and once again, is a response to changes in the real world political balance.”

Francis DeBernardo and Jeannine Gramick

Writing for the Equally Blessed coalition, Francis DeBernardo and Sr. Jeannine Gramick of New Ways Ministry conclude all this glacial change is a result of lay leadership moving the church forward. In a piece in The Huffington Post,they recall that only a decade ago, then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger declared there could be no legal recognition of same-gender couples. DeBernardo and Gramick continue:

“Faced with mounting evidence that the hierarchy is rapidly losing influence..some leading bishops are seeking to soften the hard line that Benedict XVI drew when he was still Cardinal Ratzinger. Their argument…is that marriage, even civil marriage, must be defined as a relationship between one man and one woman, but that legal recognition of same-sex relationships is permissible or even desirable…

“Reform-minded Catholics are often told that the church is not a democracy. In the conventional political sense, that may be true. But the church ministers in democracies. And in country after country, Catholic voters have gone to the polls, ignored the often heavy-handed lobbying of their bishops, and voted in favor of marriage equality, or legislators who support marriage equality. They are changing the teachings of the church by changing the culture in which the church functions…

“The choice before our bishops now is whether to continue a divisive battle that will only diminish their own authority, or to follow where the laity has led.”

The implication of a softening approach to legal recognition of same-gender couples by the Vatican, and trickling down through the world’s bishops, could have concrete policy implications:

“If the pope adopted the position espoused by Schönborn and others, the Catholic hierarchy would have no reason to oppose including the same-sex partners of U. S. citizens among those who could be granted citizenship under the immigration bill about to come before the U. S. Senate. The hierarchy could support or remain neutral on legislation that extends to gay and lesbian couples legal protections and benefits that they are now denied in most states in this country. It could speak in less vitriolic terms about same-sex couples and their families, as the bishops of England and Wales did recently in acknowledging “that many same-sex couples raise children in loving and caring homes.”

Fr. Lombardi’s comments fit within an atmosphere of Catholic prelates endorsing civil unions, but how widespread and sustained this support will be remains an open question.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: bisexual, Catholic, Church, civil unions, equal marriage, faith, Fr. Frederico Lombardi, Francis DeBernardo, Gay, gay marriage, Jeannine Gramick, lesbian, LGBT, marriage equality, New Ways Ministry, Pope Francis, Queering the Church, religion, Same-sex marriage, Terence Weldon, The Huffington Post, Transgender, Vatican

Bondings 2.0 welcomes a new friend to the blogosphere: the Fortunate Families Blog! This new internet resource is a new online community for the Fortunate Families (FF) network, which brings together Catholic parents of LGBT people for mutual support and advocacy for equality.

The two editors are FF board members Deb Word and Tony Garascia.  In their first post, they describe the blog’s mission and scope:

“We hope to use this blog to keep you up to date with what’s going on at Fortunate Families and to give Catholic Parents of lgbtq kids a place to interact. Share this space with your family and friends and PLEASE comment.  We want this page to be interactive, and we hope to have a new post each week!”

The blog has gotten off to a great start.  For example, one post lists the signs of hope that Catholic parents are seeing in the area of LGBT issues.  Here’s a few from their list:

• Young people, young people, young people.  The fact that so many young adults are open and affirming of the LGBT community.
• Change happens over time, this is hopeful.  We hold the tension of being urgent and patient at the same time.  Requires a deeper spirituality to do that.
•  Many more Catholic parishes are now hosting groups for LGBT ministry.
• New, younger parents of LGBT children are getting involved.
• More people of other faiths are getting involved in LGBT issues and equality.
• Even though many of us have been singing the same song of openness and affirmation for a long time there seems to be a lot more people singing with us.

Another post offers a profile of Joan Abele, who is one of FF’s Listening Parents Network, a group of Catholic parents who have been trained to be listeners and accompaniers of parents who may just be learning they have an LGBT child or who may be experiencing a special challenge with their faith or family.

This blog looks like it will be a great addition to the already flourishing online conversations taking place for those interested in different aspects of the Catholic LGBT world.  Check out Bondings 2.0′s blogroll, in the column to the right of this post, for a variety of Catholic websites and blogs on LGBT and other church reform issues.   To learn more about Fortunate Families as an organization, you can visit their website.

Remember, too, that blogs–whether the Fortunate Families one, Bondings 2.0, or any other one–are social media.  As such, they are not just providers of information, but opportunities for discussion.  So, you are encouraged when visiting any blog site, including this one, to make your opinions and reactions known by posting in the “Comments” section provided for each post.

Welcome to the blogosphere, Fortunate Families blog!

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: bisexual, blog, Bondings 2.0, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Deb Word, Family, Fortunate Families, Gay, lesbian, LGBT, New Ways Ministry, queer, Tony Garascia, Transgender

On Palm Sunday, Bondings 2.0 promised a full report on the recently held first national conference on LGBT human rights in El Salvador.   New Ways Ministry’s Sister Jeannine Gramick, co-founder, and Francis DeBernardo, executive director, participated as speakers on faith issues.

This week, The National Catholic Reporter printed an essay by DeBernardo, reporting on his impressions of this historic meeting.  He begins by describing the mood at the event:

Nelson Pineda, a volunteer from Aspidh Arcoiris Trans de El Salvador, speaks with conference attendees in front of a memorial to trans women who have been murdered in El Salvador in the past decade. Aspidh Arcoiris is a Salvadoran non-profit organization that works primarily with transgender, transsexual and transvestite individuals in the areas of human rights and HIV prevention. (Courtesy of ALDES El Salvador)

“On the day after the first Jesuit and the first Latin American was elected pope, I was fortunate to be on the University of Central America campus, a Jesuit school in El Salvador. The excitement on campus that day was electric and the student body was abuzz with energy.

“But the excitement was not about the new pope. That news seemed like an afterthought compared to the event beginning that day on campus.

Gathered in the school’s Segundo Montes, SJ, Auditorium (named for one of the six Salvadoran Jesuit martyrs assassinated at the school in 1989), some 350 people took part in El Salvador’s first national conference on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender human rights. The March 14-15 conference, “Felicidad y Diversidad Sexual como Derechos Humanos” (“Happiness and Sexual Diversity as Human Rights”), was sponsored by ALDES El Salvador (Asistencia Legal para la Diversidad Sexual de El Salvador). It brought together lawyers, legal scholars, politicians, faith leaders and LGBT advocates to move forward El Salvador’s burgeoning LGBT human rights movement. By the end of the second day, more than 1,000 people had participated in this meeting in San Salvador, the nation’s capital. My colleague, longtime Catholic LGBT advocate Loretto Sr. Jeannine Gramick, and I were part of the program, presenting the topic of “Faith Communities as Promoters of Human Rights.”

“That first morning, the atrium echoed with voices filled with enthusiasm to begin the two days of meetings. The registration line snaked around the reception area and the aisles in the auditorium were filled with people sitting on the steps. Strangers welcomed one another, eager to meet the people with whom they would be sharing this event. In Spanish and English, people greeted each other, not letting even language become a barrier to the camaraderie.”

The conference organization was a joint effort between U.S. and El Salvador personnel, and it was significant that it was being hosted by a Catholic campus:

“The conference was a joint effort between activists and legal specialists in the United States and El Salvador. Ana Montano, a Salvadoran woman who is an immigration and LGBT rights lawyer in San Francisco, was aided in conference preparation by John Marrin and Danielle Mackey, two organizers from the United States who live in El Salvador. Lawyers and legal scholars from both nations presented at the meeting, discussing ways that professionals in both countries could help one another.

“Though faith was only a small segment of the conference’s program, the participants were keenly aware that the nation’s leading Catholic university was hosting the event. Omar Serrano, the campus’ vice rector for social outreach, welcomed the conference, saying that it was “an honor” to host the program, and acknowledged that church institutions could do more for LGBT rights, including “asking forgiveness” for previous inaction. All attendees were keenly aware of how faith groups have helped to spread homophobia; being welcomed to a Catholic campus was an important positive sign that was not lost on the participants.”

DeBernardo describes the human rights situation for LGBT people  in El Salvador:

At a conference prayer service, Sister Jeannine Gramick lights candles in memory of LGBT people murdered in El Salvador.

“The human rights situation for LGBT people in El Salvador is as bleak as it was in the United States 40 years ago. Violence, murder, ostracism and economic deprivation are all too common for those who choose to be public about their sexuality and gender identity. The ‘machismo’ factor in Latin culture augments the repression sexual minorities experience.

Because people are fearful of coming forward after a violation of their rights, cases do not get prosecuted, and statistics reflect this underreporting. That the atmosphere is still so repressive made the fact that the conference was happening all the more remarkable. And the courage of the presenters to discuss their work and personal stories publicly was all the more inspiring. An American participant told me, ‘People in El Salvador ‘come out’ at the risk of their own lives. In the U.S., we ‘come out’ at the risk of temporary hurt feelings.’ “

“Though the social atmosphere may seem to someone from the United States as if El Salvador were ‘behind the times,’ in some ways it is way ahead of its large and liberal Northern neighbor. For example, transgender issues were front and center at this conference, definitely a main part of the agenda. When I attend conferences in the U.S. on LGBT topics, transgender issues often feel like an afterthought. Similarly, intersex people (those born with genitalia and secondary characteristics of both genders) were also well-represented — something that I have seen only once at meetings in the U.S.”

And the conference ended on a joyful and optimistic note:

“By the end of the conference, Montano, the emcee, joyously announced that during the two days, the first Salvadoran lawyer agreeing to work on LGBT rights cases on a pro bono basis came forward — a necessity given the economic challenges of the populace. Montano was optimistic that this lawyer would be the first of many more. She was also optimistic about the future of the conference. Her words of farewell to participants: ‘Hasta el año próximo’ — ‘Until next year.’ “

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: ALDES, Ana Montano, Aspidh Arcoiris Trans de El Salvador, bisexual, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Danielle Mackey, El Salvador, Gay, Human Rights, interex, Jeannine Gramick, John Marrin, lesbian, LGBT, National Catholic Reporter, Nelson Pineda, New Ways Ministry, Omar Serrano, San Salvador, Transgender, United States, University of Central America

In mid-April, Bondings 2.0 reported on a South African cardinal who claimed to know of no LGBT individuals personally, and thus rejected any claims he could be homophobic. Now, a self-ascribed “known lesbian” has written to Cardinal Wilfrid Fox Napier to challenge his statements, and, in between, presents a novel argument for why Catholic prelates fight so fiercely to deny LGBT equality.

Melanie Judge’s piece was published in the Mail & Guardian, a leading African paper, under the title, “Hi, Cardinal Napier. I’m lesbian.” She begins by questioning the cardinal’s involvement on issues of sexuality if he knows of no LGBT individuals:

“For someone who doesn’t know any homosexuals, you’ve spent a considerable amount of time concerning yourself with the lives of lesbian and gay people – specifically our rights to equality and protection under the law.

“If you don’t know us, and then by implication there aren’t any of us in your church, it seems queer that you would assume such an active position in denying us our right to rights.”

Ms. Judge is not content to say that Napier is simply anti-gay.   Instead, she believes his staunch opposition to South African legislation that would legalize civil unions is merely an attempt to preserve his power, and the power of the Catholic Church, that

“…entrenches a version of social relations and human sexuality based on male supremacy, the subordination of women, and the abjection of homosexuality….Perhaps your investment in the lives of sinful others is driven by an interest in protecting that power and the ideology that props it up. If so, I can understand why you’d rail against gays, lesbians and women who challenge your ideology.”

She continues by shedding light on Napier’s attempt to make LGBT people invisible, which contradicts the Church’s call to acknowledge, welcome, and include LGBT people:

“As you would know, a powerful way to neutralise nonconforming people whose very existence challenges your church’s prescription for human interaction is to make them invisible. To deny the very existence of gay and lesbian people is to render them unknowable and unseeable. Excluding people in this way sends a message to lesbian and gay people in your church (many of whom I know and see, and I’m not even Catholic) that they will be not be acknowledged by your leadership. To deny recognition is to deny human dignity, a strategy at the heart of homophobia.”

Ms. Judge’s comments examine the desperate attempts by Catholic bishops to maintain their privilege in a society structured around heterosexual relationships and male dominance, adding the unique perspective of a South African to her critique of oppression:

“Sexuality and gender were heavily regulated and constrained under apartheid and colonialism. Women and queers ‘knew their place’ and ‘suffered’ quietly and invisibly. Now we see a burgeoning of sexual and gender diversity – it’s exciting stuff, Cardinal. It’s a sign of a plural and democratising society in which ­difference is no longer synonymous with dysfunction.

“Shunning difference and enforcing conformity is how the church has asserted its control over populations for centuries. But this unchecked grip on power has been slipping in the face of democratic pressures. I feel for you, Cardinal; it’s hard to compete with the divine prospect of freedom and equality…

“Queers and women are laying claim to the resources, recognition and representations of citizenship – both inside and outside the church. It’s the stuff of democracy and of human rights. Still, none so blind as those who will not see.”

Melanie Judge respectfully confronts Cardinal Napier for both the ignorance his statement contains and the the underlying causes driving his anti-LGBT efforts.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Apartheid, bisexual, Cardinal Wilfrid Fox Napier, Catholic, Church, Civil union, democracy, diversity, faith, feminism, Gay, Homosexuality, Human Rights, lesbian, LGBT, Mail & Guardian, Melanie Judge, misogyny, oppression, patriarchy, queer, religion, sexism, South Africa, Transgender, Women

As mothers and fathers of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender daughters and sons, Fortunate Families applauds the seven young adults who will travel to Brazil for the World Youth Day celebration in July.  They are pilgrims on the way and we are so proud of them!
Our hearts and our prayers go with them as they seek to raise awareness about issues of gender and sexuality in the lives of Catholics while also challenging harmful teachings and pastoral practices that dehumanize rather than celebrate the gifts LGBTQ people are to the church and to the world. 

We know our kids…and we know that the words often used by Church leaders to describe them do not reflect what we know about our children. We are fortunate families because we have LGBT kids whom we love unconditionally.
These young people will carry a message of who our LGBT children really are, sharing their stories and  sending the message that ALL God’s children are loved unconditionally by our loving God.
Fortunate Families is part of the Equally Blessed coalition which is sponsoring the drive to send them on their way. Donations are needed to help with their expenses.
 
You can help send these young people on their pilgrimage by clicking on http://www.equally-blessed.org/content/support-equally-blessed-pilgrimage-world-youth-day
 We are so proud of the hope that these young people offer our Church and of the work that they will do to open hearts and minds to the realization that lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people are a gift to be treasured and whose presence makes our Church more complete.







Linda Karle Nelson 

Bishop Gene Robinson

Bishop Gene Robinson, the Episcopal Church’s first openly gay bishop, has criticized Archbishop Allen Vigneron, the Roman Catholic head of the Archdiocese of Detroit, for the recent comments had made suggesting that Catholics who support marriage equality should not receive communion.  Bondings 2.0 reported earlier on Vigneron’s statement, as well as two responses from Detroit’s retired Auxiliary Bishop Thomas Gumbleton.  You can read Bishop Gumbleton’s responses, which contradict Vigneron, here and here.

In an essay on the Washington Post’s “On Faith” blog, Robinson provides Vigneron with a theology lesson on the Eucharist:

“I believe that using Communion as such a manipulative tool surely profanes the sacrament. Perhaps these Catholic leaders should revisit their church’s theology of the Eucharist. Reception of the body and blood of Christ at Communion is God’s gift to God’s people, not a reward for right behavior. We receive Communion not because we are worthy of it, but because God’s offers us the body and blood of Christ despite our unworthiness.”

Robinson points out that excluding people from communion seems be based on arbitrary judgments:

“While some are seeking to withhold Communion from pro-choice and pro-marriage-equality Catholics, I have heard no call to withhold Communion from priests and bishops who have engaged in horrific sexual abuse against vulnerable children, nor their enablers. Bernard Cardinal Law, whose administration actively facilitated the moving around of known pedophile priests to other unsuspecting parishes, has not been denied Communion, but instead been rewarded with a prestigious church in Rome.”

The Catholic hierarchy is dangerously pursuing a path which separates them further and further from the faith-experience of Catholics:

“American Catholics have a long and honorable history of discerning their own consciences in matters of human life and dignity. For instance, 98 percent of Catholic women have gone against church law and used birth control. Indeed, individual conscience is a core value in Catholic teaching. It seems that Catholic laity are refusing to be treated like morally ignorant children who cannot think for themselves. At a very minimum, Catholic laity (and many of their local clergy) know that these issues should be discussed in an open and faithful way. They also know that people of faith will disagree on some of the ramifications of trying to live out the Gospel.”

Robinson concludes with an important reminder for bishops and laity alike:

“If those who have fallen short of God’s moral desires for humankind are to be denied Communion, then none of us can in good conscience receive the body and blood of Christ. The good news message of Jesus Christ is that despite our failure to be all that God would want us to be, we are all welcome at the Lord’s Table anyway. Until the Roman Catholic hierarchy gets that right, they might prayerfully consider quieting their judgmental rhetoric and contemplating the humility Jesus suggested as a value to be lived by all.”

The Archdiocese of Detroit had no comment on Robinson’s essay.  According to the Detroit Free Press:

“Asked for a response and to describe the reaction that Vigneron experienced in the wake of his comments, an Archdiocese spokesman Wednesday declined giving details.

“ ‘With respect, we’ll not be offering a response to the op-ed or discuss the responses people have given to us,’ said spokesman Joe Kohn. ‘We don’t really keep a scorecard of those types of things anyhow. Any individual who has a specific concern or question, we just try to answer as best we can.’ ”

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Archbishop Allen Vigneron, Bishop Gene Robinson, Bishop Thomas Gumbleton, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Christ, Detroit, Detroit Free Press, Episcopal, Eucharist, Gay, lesbian, LGBT, marriage equality, On Faith, Same-sex marriage, Vigneron, Washington Post

Cardinal Timothy Dolan

Cardinal Timothy Dolan made headlines at the beginning of April because he acknowledged that the church could do better in terms of outreach to lesbian and gay people.   Commentators all over the U.S. offered him suggestions as to how he could begin better outreach. A month later, though, and Dolan has not shown any evidence of following any of this advice.  Instead, he  has offered a blog post on hospitality which offers, quite frankly, a bizarre notion of welcome, and he particularly mentions lesbian and gay people in this unusual message.

On his personal blog, Dolan recounts a story from his childhood when his playmate, Freddie, was invited to dinner, but first admonished to wash his hands before eating.   While he claims that as a child he was excited that his friend was welcome, he also notes that he learned the lesson that “All are welcome, but. . . .”  And he thinks that is a good lesson to learn.  His words:

“Simple enough . . . common sense . . . you are a most welcome and respected member now of our table, our household, dad was saying, but, there are a few very natural expectations this family has.  Like, wash your hands!…

“So it is with the supernatural family we call the Church:all are welcome!

“But, welcome to what?  To a community that will love and respect you, but which has rather clear expectations defining it, revealed by God in the Bible, through His Son, Jesus, instilled in the human heart, and taught by His Church.”

I don’t know about you, but I don’t find this notion to be welcoming at all.  I find it condescending.  Dolan continues:

“We love and respect everyone . . . but that doesn’t necessarily mean we love and respect their actions.

“Who  a person is?  We love and respect him or her . . .

“What a person does?  Truth may require that we tell the person we love that such actions are not consonant with what God has revealed.

“We can never judge a person . . . but, we can judge a person’s actions.”

So, Dolan wants an escape clause:  he still wants to be able to sit in judgment about something.  Humans judge.  It’s part of our condition.  But when we are trying to offer a welcome, we do best to check our judgments, and instead observe and listen in holy dialogue.  We do best to take off our shoes on the holy ground of someone else’s life and experiences.

Dolan doesn’t see it this way.  In his view, he has the right to tell people that they are dirty, and then the presumption of calling that a welcome:

“Freddie and I were loved and welcomed at our family table, but the clear expectation was, no dirty hands!”

And then, most stingingly, Dolan offers examples of people that the church wants to welcome while at the same time standing in judgment of :  alcoholics,  greedy businessmen, exploitative capitalists, women who’ve had an abortion, and. . . . lesbian and gay people.    Does he not see how offensive that notion is to include lesbian and gay people with those who are physically challenged or who have moral choices to make?  Being gay or lesbian is not an activity or an action or a choice one makes.

Another offensive angle on this commentary is the Scripture story that Dolan uses to justify his prejudice–the woman caught in adultery (John 8: 1-11):

Jesus did it best.  Remember the woman caught in adultery?  The elders were going to stone her.  At the words of Jesus, they walked away.

“Is there no one left to condemn you?”  the Lord tenderly asked the accused woman.

“No one, Sir,” she whispered.

“Neither do I condemn you,” Jesus concluded.  “Now go, but sin no more.”

Hate the sin; love the sinner . . .

Another lesson to be learned from this story is that religious people can often let their penchant for judgment get the better of them and forget that love and welcome are more important than judgment.  And also that Jesus does not condemn her, even before he knows whether or not she will continue her patterns.

I recommend to Dolan (and to others) to read the ground-breaking book, Jesus, An Historical Approximation (Convivium Press, 2009), in which Spanish theologian Jose Pagola, proves the idea that Jesus’ model of ministry was to welcome all people–even those the religious authorities called sinners–and tell them that they are loved by an all-gracious God, regardless of whether or not they will decide to refrain from what others might consider sin.   That  is what welcome is all about.  Welcome with no “buts” or conditions.

Cardinal Dolan has a long way to go to learn about welcoming not only LGBT people, but all people, too.  We all have to continually learn this lesson for ourselves, and practice it fearlessly and generously.

New Ways Ministry repeats its offer to meet with Cardinal Dolan to help him understand effective ways of pastoral outreach to LGBT people.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

Tagged: Bible, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Dolan, Freddie, Gay, God, hospitality, Jesus, lesbian, LGBT, New Ways Ministry, pastoral ministry, Theology, Timothy M. Dolan, welcome

Nicholas Coppola holding a copy of the petition.

This is the story of one of the strangest moves that I’ve ever heard of coming from a bishop.  A little over a week ago, we reported that Nicholas Coppola, a gay man who had been dismissed from his volunteer ministries at a Catholic parish on Long Island because he married his partner, delivered a petition with over 18,000 signatures to Bishop William Murphy of the Rockville Centre diocese, asking to be re-instated.

This week, we’ve learned that Bishop Murphy has returned the petition and signatures, with a cover letter which simply stated:  ”From your faithful Roman Catholic bishop.”  A copy of the letter can be viewed here.

GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) reported this development on their blog  this week.  They quote Coppola’s reaction to this latest development:

Bishop William Murphy

“I really don’t understand what sort of message Bishop Murphy is trying to send. Is he no longer listening to the voices of the faithful? I have more questions than anything now.”

The strangeness of the note baffles the mind.  Is the bishop being vindictive?  Pretentious? Humorous? Sarcastic?  The move is certainly unprofessional, and clearly not pastoral.  The message it sends is an authoritarian one, not one of responding to human needs or concerns.

The Washington Post notes that the diocese confirmed that the letter did indeed come from the bishop:

“Sean Dolan, a spokesperson for Murphy, on Thursday confirmed that the bishop had sent the 300 sheets of paper with the signatures back to Coppola.

“In a statement, Dolan said the petition and the way its delivery was staged for the media ‘was designed to misinform the press and the intended recipient,’ and was ‘only designed to promote the organizations behind this spectacle.’

“ ‘All legitimate correspondence sent to the Office of the Bishop either by email or regular U.S. Mail is responded to,’ Dolan said in a statement. ‘Online petitions of this nature lack legitimacy (and) are not considered correspondence and therefore do not warrant a response.’ “

On-line petitions are a new form of media and expression, but they are now ubiquitous, and certainly a legitimate form of communication.  The diocese disregards such communications at its peril, and will continue to be out of touch with the real world.

GLAAD points out an interesting church law fact about the diocese’ response:

“According to canon law, the bishops must respond to letters that have been delivered. Later the same day that Nicholas delivered the petitions, the diocese issued a media statement reaffirming Nicholas’ ouster. It is unclear if returning the petition is the official response, per canon law.”

U.S. Catholic magazine has opined on the serious pastoral error that Murphy has made:

“Whether or not Coppola should have been removed from ministry, and whether Catholics who enter into a civil union or same-sex marriage with their partner should be allowed to participate in the life of a parish, are questions that will surely get a lot of arguments on both sides. But the fact that many Catholics were upset with the way Coppola was treated isn’t something that should just be ignored–a good bishop should at least engage with his flock and, if not to debate the decisions he’s made, should at the very least be open to explaining his reasoning in a pastoral manner. If nothing else, the bishop should see it as a teachable moment rather than something to turn away from and refuse to acknowledge.”

Coppola has a second petition campaign going in which he asks New York’s Cardinal Timothy Dolan to have a meal with his family.  On Easter Sunday, Dolan stated on a television talk show that the church needs to do better outreach to gay and lesbian people.  You can sign the petition here.

GLAAD’s Ross Murray, director of news and faith initiatives, stressed the importance of this second petition:

“Nicholas Coppola is a faithful Catholic who loves his church, and he is now being treated like a threat by his own bishop. Now more than ever, it is vital that Cardinal Dolan break bread with Nicholas to hear how he is being treated by the church that he loves so much.”

New Ways Ministry urges you to sign this petition.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Bishop, Bishop William Murphy, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Easter, Gay, Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, GLAAD, lesbian, LGBT, Long Island, marriage equality, New Ways Ministry, New York, Nicholas Coppola, pastoral ministry, petition, Ross Murray, Same-sex marriage, Sean Dolan, Timothy M. Dolan

In a few weeks we will celebrate Mother's Day here in the US.  Mothers will be taken to brunch or dinner, there will be flowers and cards...and at the very least phone calls!!!

We celebrate that mother will love us no matter what!!

That is a brave statement these days in a world of dysfunctional families, discarded kids, and broken people.

Fortunate Families is an organization with an important mission... helping parents remember that they love their kids, learn to celebrate their diversity, and work towards advocacy in church and society!!

As advocates we meet folks who have had all kinds of experiences in their birth families... in their adopted families or in their families of choice!!  We know from Dr. Catlin Ryan that youth who are accepted in their sexual diversity have health advantages, and we know that those who are rejected face terrible stats of suicide attempts.
http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/

And often we meet folks our own age who need a hug from a mom...
We represent their own mothers, women who may never have been aware that they had a gay son or lesbian daughter and may or may not have been accepting.  We represent the possibility that if we can love our kids unconditionally... their mothers might have been able to as well.

We see the work we do as Fortunate Families as our ministry.  We like to think that we represent and model the unconditional love of God for his children.  And we think our work would make Mary proud of us as well!

Mothers Day- reach out to someone who needs a mother's hug.....

And if your own mother is gone, or not the candy and flowers type, you could honor her with a gift to Fortunate Families.  Your donation not only helps us keep the lights on, it keeps the hugs coming!

And the moms and dads of Fortunate Families now accept PayPal...will wonders never cease.
http://www.fortunatefamilies.com/about-us/donations/

Carla Hale

After continued rejection from high school administrators, Carla Hale is speaking directly to her increasing supporters and to those student whom she seeks to support. Bondings 2.0 previously reported on Ms. Hale’s firing after a female partner was listed in her mother’s obituary, and on the growing pressure from many quarters on Bishop Watterson High School to reinstate the 19-year veteran educator.

The teacher spoke at a press conference, responding to Principal Marian Hutson’s denial on Tuesday of Hale’s request to return to the high school, which was reported on by The Columbus Dispatch. Of the firing, she said:

“’I was informed that I was not terminated because I was gay, but … the spousal relationship that was publicized in the newspaper, which happened to be an obituary, is against church teaching,’ she said. Her attorney, Thomas Tootle, said he sees little distinction between the two.

“Hale also will file a complaint with the Columbus Community Relations Commission under a city ordinance that makes it a crime for employers to discriminate based on sexual orientation.”

Hale is appealing to the Catholic teachers’ union as well, but her message extends beyond her desire to resume teaching at Bishop Watterson. LGBTQ Nation reports:

“Hale said the negative message of her firing has been outweighed many times over by the positive outpouring that followed. She urged LGBT kids to focus instead on what has happened afterward in Columbus and around the nation.

“’I’m hoping that, possibly for the first time in many of their lives, they actually see the love and support that’s being generated,’ Hale said.

“’It’s one of those subjects that can’t ever be discussed (in Catholic schools), but I’m hoping now they can actually see what this whole situation has created, that there is a lot more support out there than they could have even imagined,’ she said.

“’Hopefully that’s what stays and that’s what endures and continues on from this whole situation.’”

A Change.org petition has garnered over 60,000 signatures, supporters have a dedicated hashtag on Twitter, #halestorm, and it is reported that the high school’s faculty are fully in support of Hale. Bondings 2.0 will continue updating on this story as Carla Hale struggles as a church worker to be treated justly by the Church.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: #halestorm, bisexual, Bishop Watterson, Carla Hale, Catholic, Change.org, Church, Columbus, discrimination, employment rights, faith, firing, Gay, lesbian, LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Nation, queer, religion, The Columbus Dispatch, Transgender, worker rights

As legislature after legislature pass marriage equality laws, in the United States and abroad, legal recognition of same-gender couples increasingly becomes an aside in the news rather than headlines. These victories bear the fruits of decades of LGBT equality advocacy and bitter disputes about the relationship between religious doctrine and secular governance, and continually marriage equality is won in jurisdictions with large Catholic demographics. Bondings 2.0 provides a run down of this week’s news.

Rhode Island

The most densely Catholic state in America has passed marriage equality, with only procedural steps left until the bill becomes law. Rhode Island will become the 10th state in the US (plus the District of Columbia), and the final one in New England, to extend marriage rights. ABC News reports that Catholic legislators were central to the bill’s passage, admitting their personal struggles with same-gender marriage but ultimately voting in favor:

“Sen. Maryellen Goodwin, D-Providence, said she lost sleep over her vote but decided, despite opposition from the Catholic Church, to vote ‘on the side of love.’

“‘I’m a practicing Catholic. I’m proud to be a Catholic,’ she said, adding that it was the personal stories of gays, lesbians and their families in her district who convinced her. ‘I struggled with this for days, for weeks. It’s certainly not an easy vote.’”

Rhode Island had been a hold out in an otherwise LGBT-supportive region, and it is clear that the power of personal narratives from same-gender couples and their families is continuing to shape legislative struggles. Marriage licenses could be issued as early as August 1st.

France

After months of heated, and even violent, demonstrations about marriage, the National Assembly legalized recognition for same-gender couples last Tuesday and France became the 14th nation globally to have marriage equality. Opposition leaders promised a judicial appeal to the nation’s Constitutional Council, according to a report on The Atlantic  website that also credits this issue with reinvigorating a waning conservative movement in France.

Conservative Catholic lay movements backed anti-equality efforts since mid-2012, largely focused on their claims that adopted children’s health is harmed when placed with LGBT parents. The Catholic bishops’ comments seem confused, as an earlier document affirmed same-gender relationships while recent comments seem to warn about violence that will erupt if LGBT rights progress.  Think Progress reports that, even amid the wonderful news that France passed marriage laws, a troubling backlash may result:

“The advancement of same-sex marriage and adoption in France has been very contentious, with opponents promising retaliatory violence for the law’s passage. Indeed, violent hate crimes against gay French citizens have increased in recent weeks…death threats were sent to lawmakers because of their intention to support marriage equality. In the lead up to today’s vote, the hashtag #IlFautTuerLesHomosexuels, or “Homosexuals must be killed,” has been trending on Twitter.”

The French Catholic bishops should now focus on  the potential for violence in France. They need to defend each person’s life and dignity, especially those of LGBT persons.

Delaware

Delaware progressed closer to marriage equality after the state House passed a bill in a 23 to 18 vote, sending the bill to the Senate. CBS Philly reports that if the Senate passes the bill, Delaware’s governor has promised to sign it and marriage licenses could commence as early as July 1, 2013. Delaware previously allowed civil unions for same-gender couples, and these previously granted licenses would automatically be converted to marriages with the passage of the bill.

Nevada

After the emotional appeals of many, including a gay Catholic state senator reported on yesterday in Bondings 2.0, the Nevada Senate took first steps towards legalizing marriage equality by repealing legislation that defined marriage heteronormatively and replacing it with a bill to open marriage regardless of gender. USA Today reports that if the state Assembly passes it, and then both legislatures again in 2015 the final step would be a referendum in 2016.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Minisry

Tagged: bisexual, Bishops, Catholic, Catholicism, CBS Philly, Church, Delaware, faith, France, Gay, gay marriage, House, lesbian, LGBT, Marriage, marriage equality, National Assembly, Nevada, religion, Rhode Island, Same-sex marriage, Senate, The Atlantic, Transgender

During the Nevada Senate’s debate to repeal the state’s heterosexual definition of marriage, Sen. Kelvin Atkinson, a devout Catholic, came out as a gay man.

According to USA Today:

Senator Kelvin Atkinson

“In emotional comments, senators told of family members who are gay; their own conflicts between religion and social justice. For Sen. Kelvin Atkinson, D-North Las Vegas, it was a coming out of sorts when he announced to many, ‘I’m black. I’m gay.’ “

According to ThinkProgress.org:

” ‘I know this is the first time many of you have heard me say that I am a black, gay male.’ Atkinson pointed out that his father’s interracial marriage would have similarly been banned decades ago, suggesting to detractors, ‘If this hurts your marriage, then your marriage was in trouble in the first place.’ ”

The Senate voted 12-9 to repeal the heterosexual definition of marriage.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Atkinson, coming out, Gay, heterosexual marriage, Kelvin Atkinson, lesbian, LGBT, marriage equality, Nevada, Nevada Senate, North Las Vegas Nevada, Same-sex marriage

Erin Macke returned to her alma mater, a Chicago-area all-girls’ Catholic high school, to teach in 2009. Two years later, high school administrators chose not to re-hire Erin after it was revealed that she was a lesbian, and had counseled a struggling LGBT student. In a piece in The Huffington Post, she writes to the high school’s principal, Sr. Lois, with an appeal to welcome LGBT members into a school she greatly cares for.

Erin begins by describing her education at the high school in the early 2000s, writing:

“I left these halls with a strong sense of self, unwavering confidence, a conviction to charity, and the belief that I was accepted and valued in this community. I felt securely rooted in the teachings and values fostered within these walls. If one were to ask, I would concede that this institution has uniquely shaped the woman I am today.”

Erin expresses her concern for the high school’s lack of LGBT support, citing statistics that say 9 of 10 LGBT youth are bullied in school and they are four times more likely to attempt suicide than heterosexual youth. She writes:

“Yet, this institution, a school which boasts pillars of character, has made it a point to outright exclude the LGBT community on the basis that they do not fit into Catholic teachings….Ignorance and blind denial will not solve this problem. Sincere and sensitive consideration needs to be given to the issue at hand: there is not a single resource for students struggling with the ideas of sexual identity. Furthermore, empathetic and proactive adults are left as offerings on the altar of litigation and politics. What example are we setting for students when such atrocities are condoned?”

Erin then addresses her own termination in 2011 and calls the high school to embrace a more welcoming attitude:

“I find no remorse in my spirit as an offering of condolence. In my heart, my behavior was justified in that it was in the best interest of the student. Her physical and emotional well-being surpassed my need for professional safety and personal anonymity. I find the shortsightedness of this administration unconscionable and my dismissal to be a cowardly attempt to sweep a larger issue under the rug…

“Make this a community that behaves in the most Christian of manners by accepting all children of God and creating an environment safe from judgment, ridicule, and violence…It was with charity and compassion in my heart that I reached out to a student in need. If this is my penance, I righteously accept it.”

Finally, she speaks to Sr. Lois and those reading the letter about how the trials since 2011 have changed her, and the hope she finds moving forward:

“There’s no point in reliving the negativity of a select few; better to rejoice in the appreciative nature of the majority. My main takeaway revolves around the ideas of fear and vulnerability…[Fear] prevents us from telling someone how we feel, trusting the unknown, or reaching out to people in need. We are afraid that the actions we might take will cause us pain, embarrassment, or judgment, so we don’t take them. Instead, we stand very still, moving cautiously in familiar directions…Vulnerability is my greatest fear and yet in instances when I’d least like to be vulnerable, I find it to be my greatest ally. This year, I learned to trust that, in most cases, people will do the right thing.

“More importantly, had I not trusted, I would have forfeited the opportunity to allow people to do the right thing; essentially, perpetuating and justifying my fear…I am contented in knowing I chose to open the door, in the face of fear, risking vulnerability, and was met with understanding, compassion, and love from most. Although my dismissal has been hard to bear, it is my hope that, in the not too distant future, I will think of my time here with fondness, rather than resentment. As a woman of faith, I know that forgiveness is as much a gift to the innocent as it is the guilty.”

While Erin Macke is only one of many LGBT individuals fired from a Catholic institution, similar to Carla Hale or Nicholas Coppola of recent weeks, she provides a hopeful lesson for all who find themselves rejected or hurt.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: bisexual, Catholic, education, Erin Macke, Gay, high school, hope, inspiration, lesbian, LGBT, Transgender, welcome

Story of a Listening Parent by Joan AbeleMay 15, 2009 in Mother of a Gay SonI was raised in Cleveland, Ohio and attended Catholic grade school and all-girls high school at the time there was a huge change going on in the church. My home parish was a surprisingly liberal place in the midst of a solidly middle class, factory worker neighborhood. It has been over 30 years since I lived in Ohio but I am still friends with several of the priests and nuns who were assigned there. In fact, it was from one of the priests that I heard about Fortunate Families.

After finishing my residency in Detroit, I moved to Utah in 1983. I actually had to look on a map to see where Utah was since I was not completely sure! My practice is primarily cardiac anesthesia at Intermountain Medical Center, which is a Level 1 Trauma center in Salt Lake City, and I’m president of the medical staff as well.

My husband is also an anesthesiologist at the same hospital and we have been married for 7 years. Between us, we have 10 children, although I am only biologically responsible for 3 of them! All of them are adults (at least numerically) and our house is pleasantly quiet. My oldest, Thomas, graduated from Oberlin College in 2007 and is living in Japan teaching English. My daughter, Sarah, is graduating from Lewis and Clark College on May 10th.

My youngest son, Jonathan, is an international man of mystery. He was an exchange student in Italy when he was a sophomore in high school and decided then to go to college in Europe. He came out to me when he was 15 while he was in Italy, although I was pretty sure he was gay from the time he was very young. He returned from Italy fluent in Italian, much more self assured and joined the rowing team at his high school. This is a very conservative state and I worried that I would get calls from the other parents saying they didn’t want him on a team with their sons, but absolutely nothing happened, to my great relief. He was even voted the graduation speaker for their class and did a terrific job. He is finishing his second year at Franklin College, an American university in Lugano, Switzerland, about an hour north of Milan. To make you feel even sorrier for him, they have two weeks of required academic travel each semester. It is a tough life.

I have serious reservations about the church’s “official position” on homosexuality, but since my parish is open and welcoming, I tend to compartmentalize it. At our last PFLAG meeting, our roundtable discussion was about the role of religion in our families. The group was about evenly divided between Latter Day Saint and Catholic, which is not the actual demographic here. While we didn’t get to everyone, it seemed like I was the only one in either group who still goes to church, which speaks volumes for how families are isolated from the institutional churches, in addition to our gay and lesbian family members. There is a lot of anger directed toward churches that teach loving one another with the modifier: “as long as they are just like WE are.” One of my friends who is a gay priest was just named the president of a Catholic college in the South and was very open about his sexual orientation– change happens one person at a time!

We have a terrific PFLAG chapter and that has been a source of a lot of support and friendship. Two weekends ago I chaperoned at the Queer Prom put on by the Salt Lake City Pride Center. There were over 650 kids there (you read that right) and it was loads of fun. The women I worked with wondered what it would have been like if there had been anything like it for them when they were in high school. It was wonderful to see these kids just be themselves knowing that no one would hassle them. The police officers who provided the security said it was a much easier group than most of the other proms they work for — no fights breaking out, no yelling matches. I understand the difficulties of being a parent of a gay child in a conservative community. It has been my challenge to become more open about my son and not worry that I am being judged a “bad mother”. My husband is LDS and has had his own challenges in dealing with the attitudes of his church especially with Proposition 8 support and phone banking. He has been incredibly supportive of me, and of Jonathan. I feel privileged to be allowed to engage in conversations with parents who may be struggling for a variety of reasons. It is a long process throughout all the phases of a family’s life but one that is completely worth it.


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