The beautiful pearl is created, as I understand it, from the irritation of a grain of sand within the shell.

I have often described this process of advocacy as being a bit of sand within the shell of the church, a little bit of irritating the status quo can bring forth a group who is more welcoming.

So you can imagine my grin when I heard Fortunate Family Board member Myrna Ohman describe herself as a "Minister of Irritation"

Enjoy your day! 

Nicholas Coppola Delivering 18,000 Signatures

After Nicholas Coppola was removed from parish ministry for marrying his husband, many rushed to support the Long Island gay Catholic man through a petition to the Diocese of Rockville Centre.  Over 18,000 people signed the petition which Coppola delivered to Bishop William Murphy’s office personally.

David Gibson reports in Religion News Service that the petition was was organized by Faithful America, which reads, in part:

“‘Bishop Murphy, please let Nicholas Coppola resume volunteering at his parish – and make it clear that faithful gay and lesbian Catholics are welcome to participate fully in parish life in your diocese.’ “

Gibson notes:

“According to gay activist network GLAAD, which has been assisting Coppola, a security guard at the diocese agreed to deliver the petition but said that neither Murphy nor diocesan officials would meet with Coppola and representatives of the activist groups who accompanied him.”

Reflecting on how events around Mr. Coppola have played out, several Catholic commentators  have expressed concern about the direction parishes head when priests exclude LGBT ministers for marrying. Bryan Cones writes at US Catholic about the failures of Catholic leaders to stand by LGBT ministers who give so much:

“Setting aside what I think is a blatant disregard for the rights of baptized people in the church…it is impossible not to be moved by Coppola’s devotion to his parish. After decades of service, he is being literally benched, but he is still showing up Sunday after Sunday, and even speaking kindly for the pastor…Entering a civil contract, even when it’s called ‘marriage,’ simply does not violate church teaching about the immorality of same-gender sex acts–it only violates the public policy position of the U.S. bishops and the Vatican, and there is a big difference between the two. It’s enough of a difference to justify letting Coppola continue his ministry in the parish.

“That lack of loyalty when the rubber hits the road is particularly tragic in the don’t-ask-don’t-tell situations LGBT Catholics find themselves in…’My hands are tied’ is a common cop out; wouldn’t it be better if Coppola’s pastor said it instead to the bishop: ‘My hands are tied. The gospel won’t let me treat a child of God like that.’ Coppola deserves better than that; everyone deserves better than that.”

Writing at the National Catholic Reporter, Pat Perriello observes more sinister intentions in parishes than just failing to support LGBT individuals:

“I believe God’s power is great enough to value goodness in anyone: Catholic, Christian, non-Christian or nonbeliever. God’s power is greater than church structures that sometimes seem designed to constrain that power.

“My other concern about this story is that the sanctions grew out of an elite spy system that appears determined to catch people doing things wrong and force bishops and priests into a position where they feel compelled to act on these events. We have unfortunately been seeing this kind of behavior in our parishes at least since the time of Pope John Paul II. It is divisive, uncharitable, unchristian and inappropriate as a means of resolving disagreements within the Christian community.”

Michael O’Loughlin writes that the Coppola incident illustrates a non-welcoming model of church, but that an alternative way of being church, one which welcomes all, is already being enacted in other areas:

“…there is another side to the Catholic Church that welcomes gay Catholics. I know a Catholic monk who has supported numerous collegee [sic] students through their coming out processes. A thriving parish in New York owes much of its vibrancy to a gay lay minister. There are countless priests and nuns who share the joys and sorrows of gay families in parishes throughout the country. Most of the time, these stories aren’t reported; it’s not exactly news when Christians act Christian. But sometimes they are.

“With support for same-sex marriage growing, especially among the Catholic faithful, the Catholic Church will face many decisions about how to respond to this pastoral challenge. Whether it hunkers down and marginalizes itself or responds with a more Christian approach remains to be seen, but it’s clear that both options are already at work in today’s church.”

Nicholas Coppola is moving forward from this experience with the hope he and his husband can create a more welcoming, sustained place for Catholic LGBT parishioners within the Church. He started a petition anyone can sign at Change.org asking Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York to share a meal with Mr. Coppola’s family.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: bisexual, Bishop William Murphy, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, Catholic, Change.org, David Gibson, Diocese of Rockville Centre, Gay, GLAAD, GLBT, lesbian, LGBT, Long Island, marriage equality, Michael O'Loughlin, ministry, National Catholic Reporter, New York, Nicholas Coppola, Pat Periello, religion, Religion News Service, Same-sex marriage, Transgender

It is hard to talk about marriage equality without talking about the Catholic church.  In the last week Uruguay a very Catholic country, has approved laws for same gender marriage, making it the second 'very Catholic' country in south America to do so. The French senate approved legislation as well after weeks of protests, some violent, fueled in part by Catholic demonstrators, and church rhetoric.  And in this country we have a bishop telling marriage equality supporters that they should abstain from communion and a retired bishop saying….no no no. There is civil marriage. A civil right, with benefits (social and economic) tied to the union and any children involved. There is matrimony…a religious ceremony, a sacrament of grace.  Those who marry share the sacrament, the grace, with each other as a gift from God.  As witnesses to the marriage we offer to raise up the couple in prayer, to hold them in our hearts, to care for them as a couple.  Why would we want anything else for our children?  Both civil marriage and the sacrament of commitment are important to the lives and souls of our children.  We as a couple made promises to God, in church and with a priest present. Our children may have to begin this sacramental journey outside of our church and without witness of a priest. Someday their children may have more options…We pray that the day comes when all our children in their sexual diversity find a faith home that celebrates them as children of God.  As Catholic parents of lgbtq children, we wish it could be our home...the Catholic church. 
“Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart.
Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.”
― Henri J.M. Nouwen

Cardinal Wilfrid Fox Napier

A South African cardinal has made the claim that he is not homophobic, and has used as his evidence that he doesn’t know any lebian or gay people.

Agence France Presse reports that Cardinal Wilfrid Fox Napier, OFM, of Durban, South Africa, recently stated in a newspaper interview:

“I can’t be accused of homophobia because I don’t know any homosexuals.”

The cardinal didn’t stop there, though.  The news report continues:

The Archbishop of Durban also lashed out as US conditions on aid, including distribution of condoms, and the promotion of gay rights as ‘a new kind of slavery.’

” ‘With the same-sex marriages, we are carrying out someone else’s agenda,’ he said.

” ‘It’s a new kind of slavery, with America saying you won’t get aid unless you distribute condoms, legalise homosexuality…’

“Same-sex marriages are legal in South Africa.

“His comments prompted outrage, just weeks after he was forced to apologise for describing paedophilia as a sickness and not a crime.

” ‘Paedophilia is actually an illness — it is not a criminal condition,’ he told the BBC last month.”

The cardinal’s comment as homophobia can only be described as ludicrous.  We can analyze it in a number of different ways:

1. He doesn’t realize that he he knows gay people, many of whom likely serve in the church he leads.
2. Perhaps the gay people around him are fearful of acknowledging their orientations to him because he has not shown that he would be accepting.
3. He needs to get out in the world and start meeting some lesbian and gay people and developing relationships with them.
4. He is not telling the whole truth.

With LGBT issues so prominent in world and church discussions,  one would think that if the cardinal indeed does not know any lesbian or gay people that he would think it important to go out and meet some.  In one sense,  to not know any gay or lesbian people is the very definition of homophobia, and so his claim that he is not homophobic falls totally flat.  His very denial indicates that in fact he is very homophobic.

If his attitude were an isolated phenomenon, it could perhaps be dismissed.  But I fear that it is part of a trend which exists among the hierarchy.  I have two examples.  When I was visiting Poland a few years ago, I met with a group of LGBT Catholics in Warsaw.  We shared experiences with one another.  Their leader said that he had written to the Polish Bishops’ Conference to request that they appoint a priest-chaplain for the LGBT group.  The response they received from the bishops was that there was no need to appoint a chaplain because there were no homosexuals in Poland.

Similarly, when New Ways Ministry’s Sister Jeannine Gramick had an accidental meeting with then-Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger on an airplane, she asked him if he knew any lesbian or gay people. His response was that he had seen homosexuals protesting Pope John Paul II’s visit to Berlin.  That was his acknowledged extent of “knowing” lesbian and gay people.

These stories indicate a willful ignorance on the part of church leaders, and that is a dangerous and harmful phenomenon.  The fact that a cardinal can proudly say he doesn’t know any gay and lesbian people, and then claim that this proves he isn’t homophobic, reveals the low level of leadership that the Catholic Church currently operates under.  If church leaders truly don’t know lesbian or gay people, then how informed can their thinking be on LGBT topics?

Our church deserves leaders who will get over their blatant homophobia and go out to meet and dialogue with the people upon whom they comment so frequently and glibly.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

Tagged: Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, Cardinal Wilfrid Fox Napier, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Durban, Gay, Homophobia, homophobic, Jeannine Gramick, lesbian, LGBT, Poland, Pope Benedict XVI, Pope John Paul II, South Africa

Bishop Thomas Gumbleton

Bishop Thomas Gumbleton, retired auxiliary bishop of Detroit, has told Catholics to ignore Archbishop Allen Vigneron’s recent statement discouraging pro-marriage equality Catholics from receiving communion.

Gumbleton, who is a long-time supporter of LGBT people, said in a MyFox2 interview:

“Don’t stop going to communion. You’re okay.”

Gumbleton explained his position from a pastoral point of view:

“If you look at it from a pastoral point of view where you’re trying to reach out to people, trying to draw them in, then the last thing you want to do is impose a penalty or make them feel like they have to impose a penalty upon themselves.”

His explanation also was based on the importance of Catholics using their own consciences to make decisions about receiving communion, something that Bondings 2.0 stressed in our reporting of Vigneron’s statement:

“Gumbleton says it’s a matter of conscience, which is deeply personal.

” ‘Not everybody’s going to come to the same conclusion at the same time, so we have to keep on working with people and trusting people that they’re trying to do the right thing,’ he remarked.

“Gumbleton read from a pastoral letter penned years ago at a bishop’s conference called ‘Always Our Children.’

“Judging the sinfulness of any particular act is a matter ultimately between God and the individual person.”

“He also says that an individual person must choose whether or not to receive communion.

” ‘Their conscience is the ultimate voice they have to follow,’ Gumbleton explained. ‘A person coming up to communion has a right to make their own decision about am I in a state of grace?… Am I ready to receive? Well, that’s for the person to decide not for the minister or not for any bishop.’ “

Bishop Gumbleton is the 1995 recipient of New Ways Ministry’s Bridge Building Award. He has served on New Ways Ministry’s Board, and has spoken at several of our national symposiums and other programs.

Kudos to Bishop Gumbleton for speaking so forthrightly about the role of conscience–something that too few bishops seem able to do.  Thanks to him, too,  for promoting good pastoral directives about who gets to decide about who will receive communion.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

Tagged: Allen Henry Vigneron, Archbishop, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Detroit, Eucharist, Gay, Gumbleton, lesbian, LGBT, marriage equality, Same-sex marriage, Thomas Gumbleton

The number of cardinals endorsing civil unions for lesbian and gay couples continues to grow.

Cardinal Christoph Schonborn

Thanks to QueeringTheChurch.com, we have this report from London’s The Tablet magazine:

“A leading cardinal has said that same-sex relationships should be respected and recognised in law amid signs of a change in church thinking on the subject.

“Cardinal Christoph Schönborn, the Archbishop of Vienna, made the remarks in a lecture at the National Gallery evening titled “Christianity: Alien Presence or Foundation of the West?” on Monday.

“ ‘There can be same-sex partnerships and they need respect, and even civil law protection. Yes, but please keep it away from the notion of marriage. Because the definition of marriage is the stable union between a man and a woman open to life,’ Cardinal Schönborn said.

“ ‘We should be clear about terms and respect the needs of people living in a partnership together. They deserve respect,’ he added.

“Two other cardinals, Colombian Ruben Salazar and Theodore McCarrick have recently suggested the Church should not oppose same-sex civil unions.”

Bondings 2.0 had already reported about Cardinal McCarrick’s comments.  You can read the blog post about them here.

Cardinal Ruben Salazar

We had not heard of Cardinal Salazar’s support for civil unions before this news, and a web search revealed that his comments were only minimally noted in the Spanish-language press. Colombia’s El Tiempo reports that his support for civil unions was stated in the context of declaring that the term “family” can only be used by heterosexually-headed households.  What follows is a translation from the original Spanish text:

“There can be no true marriage but between a man and a woman, and only on this basis can there be a real family,” said Salazar, President of the [Colombian]Episcopal Conference, who said that it is not a personal position but of vision of the universal Church, reflected also in the Constitution. . . .

” ‘The other unions have a right to exist; no one can ask them not to exist, but they should not try to equate themselves with the family.  They should not not assume the role of the family within the state, that’s where it starts to subvert the social order,’  Archbishop of Bogota also said and cautioned that these statements are not looking to attack the country’s gay community, much less violate their rights.”

Cardinal Salazar was elevated to the College of Cardinals by Pope Benedict XVI in November 2012, during the pope’s last consistory of naming cardinals.

Over the past year,  more and more cardinals and bishops have been speaking positively about either the need for civil unions or for greater respect for lesbian and gay couples.  A recent survey of many of these endorsements can be found here.

Cardinal Schonborn, who was often spoken of as a papal candidate,  made headlines last year when he reinstated an openly gay man to a parish council after the local pastor had removed him.

While it is disappointing that many of these church leaders  support civil unions out of a a desire to reserve marriage for only heterosexual couples, I think we need to keep this step forward in perspective.  We need to see it for what it is:  a step forward that was unthinkable a year ago.  More importantly, the fact this this strategy of supporting civil unions was also endorsed by Pope Francis when he was Cardinal Bergoglio in Argentina makes it even more possible that this strategy can develop.

Is hierarchical support for civil unions ideal?  No, especially not when it is a stopgap measure against marriage.  But none of us know how the Holy Spirit works, other than that even our imperfect ways can some times be used for good purposes.  Who knows what the Holy Spirit has in mind with this new trend?

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Argentina, Cardinal, Cardinal Ruben Salazar, Cardinal Theodore McCarrick, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Christoph Schönborn, Civil union, Gay, lesbian, LGBT, London, marriage equality, queer, Same-sex marriage, Tablet

Liam Finnegan

A gay teenager in Canada’s Yukon province has successfully lobbied to have a document which describes homosexual orientation as “intrinsically disordered” and homosexual acts as “acts of grave depravity” to be removed from his Catholic high school’s website.

Liam Finnegan’s complaint arose when he read the document “Living with Hope, Ministering by Love, Teaching in Truth,” on the website of Vanier Catholic Secondary School, in the city of Whitehorse.  According to The National Post,  Finnegan, 16, observed:

“There were a few things in the document that were not homophobic and that made me think that maybe this isn’t such a terrible thing, since it said homosexuals shouldn’t be discriminated against, and I liked that part of it. But then as I continued reading the policy it veered into the ridiculous, describing homosexuality as an ‘intrinsically moral evil’ and saying that I was a ‘sinner’ and that I needed to be ‘healed.’ ”

“Somebody had to say something.”

So Finnegan, supported by his fellow students, started speaking out about the document, and his complaint eventually rose to the highest level of provincial government.  Xtra.com reports that Scott Kent, the provincial education minister eventually met with Bishop Gary Gordon of Whitehorse, and the bishop agreed to remove the document:

“ ‘Both [Kent] and the bishop could agree immediately that the most important thing was that students felt safe, welcome and protected in school,’ cabinet communications director Matthew Grant says. ‘The minister requested that an actual policy be developed around the particular issue in question, something developed on the grassroots level with students, parents and members of the school council.’ ”

Catholic schools in Canada receive government funding, and so are answerable to government policies concerning education. Xtra.com explains the church-state relationship and why the Catholic document needs to be re-thought to conform with government standards:

“[Grant] says that work needs to be done to bridge the gap between the religious document and the Department of Education’s policy on gender identity and sexual orientation. That policy, which was adopted in September 2012, requires schools to provide a safe and supportive environment for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, two-spirit, queer and questioning people.

“Grant confirms that the policy applies to all publicly funded schools, including the Catholic schools. With the exception of the French secondary school, Yukon does not have school boards. Instead, Yukon’s 28 public schools, which include three separate Catholic schools, are administered by the territorial government with the assistance of elected school councils, which advise the minister. Both public and Catholic schools in Yukon receive all their funding from the government.”

Congratulations to Mr. Finnegan for his successful campaign!  May we all follow his example of speaking up against injustice!

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

Tagged: Canada, Catholic, Catholic Church, Gay, Homosexuality, lesbian, LGBT, Liam Finnegan, National Post, queer, Whitehorse, Whitehorse Yukon, Yukon

From Weariness to HopeThe theme of the parent gathering in Pleasanton California was “From Weariness to Hope”.  Toward the end of the day the 40 or so people got into small groups to discern and share signs of hope for parents of LGBT youth.  Here are just a few of the signs that were reported to the larger group.

•  Pope Francis.  Many cited his calling the church to a deeper service of love as a sign of hope.  The fact that he washed the feet of women and a person of the Muslim faith at the Holy Thursday services gripped our imaginations. 
•  The ability to tell our stories about our children is a sign of hope.
• The opportunity to come together in a day of reflection.
• Young people, young people, young people.  The fact that so many young adults are open and affirming of the LGBT community.
• Change happens over time, this is hopeful.  We hold the tension of being urgent and patient at the same time.  Requires a deeper spirituality to do that.
•  Many more Catholic parishes are now hosting groups for LGBT ministry. 
•   Real hope starts with where we are now.
• The number of LGBT people comfortable about coming out seems to be increasing, even though we still need to fight for their voices and the safety needed to come out.
•   Many parents of LGBT children are fighting for change.
• New, younger parents of LGBT children are getting involved.
• More people of other faiths are getting involved in LGBT issues and equality.
• Even though many of us have been singing the same song of openness and affirmation for a long time there seems to be a lot more people singing with us.

So where is your hope for your children?  How do you sustain your efforts to be open and affirming?

Submitted by Tony Garascia, Board member

Arcbishop Allen Vigneron

Did Detroit’s Archbishop Allen Vigneron tell Catholics who support marriage equality that they could not receive communion?  Well, he said, they should not, but not that they could not.  Is that distinction important?  Yes,  because it means that the ultimate authority about whether to receive or not rests with individual communicants, not with the archbishop.  And that distinction, as I discuss later, is a critical one which reflects on how Catholics view the importance of their own consciences.

But, first, let’s look at what was actually said and by whom.  The Detroit Free Press, which broke the story, reported Vigneron’s comments about communion as supplement to Detroit canon lawyer Edward Peters’ comments on the matter.  Peters, indeed, did say that Catholics who support abortion rights or marriage equality should not present themselves for communion, but even he did not issue a rule (which, by the way, he has no authority to do).  The Free Press quotes his recent comments on his personal blog:

“In a post on his blog last week, Peters said that Catholic teachings make it clear that marriage is between one man and one woman. And so, ‘Catholics who promote “same-sex marriage” act contrary to’ Catholic law ‘and should not approach for holy Communion,’ he wrote. ‘They also risk having holy Communion withheld from them … being rebuked and/or being sanctioned.’ “

Peters did urge pro-marriage equality Catholics not to receive communion.  He even went further than that:  he threatened that communion may possibly be withheld from them. But Peters did not forbid them from doing so.  He has no power to do so.

Archbishop Vigneron, similarly, did not issue a rule about communion, but made remarks similar to Peters.  Important to note is that he made these comments in response to a question by a reporter, not in the context of a directive that he was issuing. The Free Press reports:

“Asked by the Free Press about Catholics who publicly advocate for gay marriage and receive Communion, Vigneron said Sunday: ‘For a Catholic to receive holy Communion and still deny the revelation Christ entrusted to the church is to try to say two contradictory things at once: “I believe the church offers the saving truth of Jesus, and I reject what the church teaches.” In effect, they would contradict themselves. This sort of behavior would result in publicly renouncing one’s integrity and logically bring shame for a double-dealing that is not unlike perjury.’

“Vigneron said the church wants to help Catholics ‘avoid this personal disaster.’ “

Again, Vigneron did not forbid anyone from receiving communion, though he certainly discouraged certain people from doing so.  He did not direct priests to withhold communion.

Let me be clear:  I am making this distinction because I think it is important to be accurate about what Peters and Vigneron said–especially Vigneron, who holds canonical authority.  But I am not making this distinction to exonerate them in any way.  In fact, I believe that their remarks are very dangerous, not because they supposedly forbid people to receive communion, but because they confuse people by making it seem as if they did forbid them.

Moreover, Vigneron’s reasoning that equates receiving communion with acceptance of church teaching is bad theology.  Communion is about a spiritual reality, not an ecclesiological one.   Disagreeing with church teaching on civil marriage does not sever one from being in communion with the church or with God.

As the Free Press notes, Peters’ and Vigneron’s opinions are in the minority among Catholic leaders:

” ‘Most American bishops do not favor denying either politicians or voters Communion because of their positions on controversial issues,’ said Thomas Reese, a Catholic priest and senior fellow at the Woodstock Theological Center at Georgetown University. Reese said that Peters’ views are ‘in a minority among American canon lawyers.’ “

The real danger in this case is that Catholics might indeed follow Vigneron’s suggestion and exclude themselves from communion. That would be a terrible tragedy for many reasons, not least of all because these Catholics would be ignoring the authority of their own consciences.  They would be acceding to an external authority instead of listening to the voice of God in their souls.  The ultimate authority of what they should do rests inside themselves.

Since Vigneron did not direct priests to withhold communion, the only people who could enact his suggestion would be potential communion recipients themselves.  If the Catholic Church is to be a truly Vatican II church, Catholics must start trusting their consciences, and not the confusing, ill-thought reflections of a canon lawyer and a bishop.  Catholics need to take responsibility to decide if they are disposed to go to communion.

Vigneron owes Catholics in his diocese an apology for creating such confusion.

For an excellent analysis and commentary on this case, I suggest a blog post by National Catholic Reporter’s Michael Sean Winters entitled “+Vigneron, Same Sex Marriage & Communion.” My favorite line from it:

 ”Peters is one of those canonists who recognizes every commandment except the Great Commandment.”

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Allen Henry Vigneron, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Detroit, Detroit Free Press, Edward Peters, Gay, lesbian, LGBT, marriage equality, Michael Sean Winters, Peter's, Same-sex marriage, Vigneron

Blake Bergen

Students at The George Washington University (GWU), in Washington, DC began a campaign last week to institute changes in how the University administers its spiritual care programs, after some complained about anti-LGBT comments from Fr. Greg Shaffer, the Catholic chaplain who administers the University’s Newman Center.

Blake Bergen and Damian Legacy were once active members of the Newman Center at GWU who say they left due to Fr. Shaffer’s anti-gay stance that they say many others considered abrasive and polarizing as well.

In an essay in The Huffington Post, Bergen and Legacy further explain their reasoning in asking for an overhaul of GWU chaplaincy policies. Aware of the tension inherent to respecting religious freedom and free speech at a secular college where diversity abounds, they nonetheless oppose the Newman Center’ messaging:

“[Fr. Shaffer] has a long history of inflammatory comments towards LGBT people in his homilies and fostering a homophobic atmosphere amongst Catholics, and continued his persecution of the LGBT Community last week. While normally a sense of professional respect is observed – as neither of us are Roman Catholic priests- the idea that the Newman Center is entitled to do and believe as it pleases was violated when comments were published on his personal blog and in the student newspaper saying:

“‘Every single rational person knows that sexual relationships between persons of the same sex are unnatural and immoral. They know it in their hearts,’ Shaffer wrote. ‘And, yet, they go against what their hearts tell them when they try to argue for same-sex relationships and ‘gay marriage.’

“While this is simply a taste of the language and sentiments that permeate the Newman Catholic Student Center, the atmosphere spreads to affect those who do not even identify with the center, faith, or seek Father Greg for spiritual advice in the wider University community.”

Damian Legacy

GWU’s student newspaper, The Hatchet, reports on this growing campaign and Fr. Shaffer’s record:

“The former Newman Center members are creating a video with testimony from 10 other Catholic students, who cite Shaffer as the reason they left the chapel…Legacy and Bergen also plan to file a formal complaint with the University and hold prayer vigils outside the Newman Center until Shaffer is removed.

“The students lambasted Shaffer’s counseling sessions, in which he said he advises students who are attracted to members of the same sex to remain celibate for the rest of their lives. They also criticized the priest for a fiery blog post he wrote last May, calling gay relationships ‘unnatural and immoral’ after President Barack Obama came out in support of same-sex marriage…

“Aside from the appeal to GW, Legacy and Bergen will also send letters to D.C.’s Roman Catholic archdiocese, who heads the Church for the entire District and is responsible for choosing priests’ assignments. Legacy will also ask the Student Association to defund the Newman Center as part of the SA’s annual allocations process to organizations April 15. This year, the Newman Center received $10,000 from the SA, which divvies up funds from a budget accumulated through student fees.”

GWU administrators are reviewing complaints filed by Legacy in the Office for Diversity and Inclusion.  They are also reviewing it in the Multicultural Student Services Center, comparing GWU’s policies with other comparable institutions on how chaplaincies are admitted, administered, and overseen to remain in line with the University’s mission. No comments on potential changes or a request for Fr. Shaffer’s removal from the University have been released.

Fr. Greg Shaffer

As a reaction to the campaign led by Bergen and Legacy, conservative students and other supporters of the Newman Center have labeled this a matter of ‘persecution’ of Fr. Shaffer for his views.

In response to these charges, Bergen and Legacy are open about their true intentions and goals:

“Let us be clear, we are not attacking the Roman Catholic Church. We are by no means asking the Church to change its views on same-sex marriage, nor are we seeking validation or celebration of our sexuality by the Church, or anyone for that matter.

“What we ask is to be treated with dignity and respect at our university. We ask that the Chaplain of the George Washington University Newman Catholic Student Center, a man charged with the pastoral care of students by a non-university entity, treat each of us with equal love and value. We ask that our university provide a safe and welcoming environment for every student.

“Can we not agree that our students should be safe in schools and that all bullying should be stopped? Furthermore, as an institution dedicated to acceptance and inclusion should GW not be called to take steps to stop homophobic bullying along with all other forms of bullying? We might not all agree about full celebration and inclusion of LGBT civil rights, but we can all agree that bullying should be considered unacceptable, especially from our spiritual leaders.

“We have been criticized for waging an intolerant attack on civil liberties by speaking out against a religious leader for espousing discrimination and anti-LGBT rhetoric. Hate in God’s name is hate, not religion.”

As the campaign continues at GWU, Bondings 2.0 will update our readers on any developments.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: bisexual, Blake Bergen, Cathlic, Catholic, Damian Legacy, faith, Gay, Greg Shaffer, GW, GWU, Homosexuality, lesbian, LGBT, Newman Center, religion, Religious Liberty, The George Washington University, The Hatchet, Transgender

As Ireland begins to contemplate marriage equality for lesbian and gay couples, the Catholic bishops there have warned the government that if such a law were passed, then Catholic priests would no longer perform the civil aspects of marriage, in effect, no longer acting as agents of the state for marriage.

The Independent reports that if that happens, it could greatly affect the marriage landscape in Ireland:

“The bishops’ stance would affect the thousands of weddings that take place in the church every year if a referendum to extend marriage was passed.

“For a wedding to be legally recognised in Ireland, it must be solemnised by one of the 5,600 people who are on the Register of Solemnisers.

“Around 4,300 of these are Catholic priests.”

IrishCentral.com points out that not only may the bishops’ proposed action backfire, but that their influence in Irish politics is waning:

“But in a reaction the bishops might not have anticipated, many observers say that bishops unprecedented threat has the potential to backfire spectacularly, however. After decades of sexual abuse claims being ignored, or hidden, or denied and then reluctantly acknowledged, the bishops’ threat may not have the moral authority they imagine, critics contend.

“In fact, some observers see it as an opportunity to price the church’s hands from what is otherwise a civil arrangements.

” ‘With the removal of one of the main reasons that non-church goers still attend church at all, the bishops could be assembling a circular firing squad,’ one observer told the press. ‘This threat could actually do what many actually want it to – make marriage a civil contract with no religious associations at all, if the couple so desire. To some this is the equivalent of losing a five pound note and finding fifty.’ “

Groups supporting marriage equality seem unperturbed by the bishops threat.  According to GayStarNews.com:

“The Gay and Lesbian Equality Network (GLEN) said they respected the freedom to practice religion and were not seeking to force religious solemnizers to carry out same-sex marriages, if they do not wish to do so. “

The push for marriage equality in Ireland is supported by Amnesty International, the Irish Council for Civil Liberties, the Equality Authority and Irish Congress of Trade Unions, and six other key national groups, according to The Independent.

The bishops’ proposal is a reversal of a common strategy used here in the United States by some Christian churches who support marriage equality.  Many pastors in these  pro-LGBT congregations and denominations have signed pledges not to perform the civil aspects of marriage ceremonies until marriage equality is extended to lesbian and gay couples.  They refuse to act as agents of the state while inequality exists.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

 

 

Tagged: Catholic, Gay, Ireland, Irish Congress of Trade Unions, Irish Council for Civil Liberties, lesbian, LGBT, marriage equality, Same-sex marriage, United States

 



 Hi, I’m Deb Word, I’ll be one of the editors for the page. Tony Garascia will be the other.  We are board members of Fortunate Families. We hope to use this blog to keep you up to date with what’s going on at Fortunate Families and to give Catholic Parents of lgbtq kids a place to interact. Share this space with your family and friends and PLEASE comment.  We want this page to be interactive, and we hope to have a new post each week!  For our first post, I’ll share the last weekend with you.We met as a board on Thursday and Friday in Pleasanton California.  The entire board was on hand as well our consultant Beth who is helping us as  we work through growing pains and trying to figure out how to 'keep the lights on' as we expand our reach and amplify our voices.Our host in Ca. was board member Michael Harmuth. Michael has also arranged for FF to sponsor a day of reflection with parents on Saturday. Thirty six of us spent the day sharing stories and hope.  We heard beautiful witness of love for our children, shared pain when they face discrimination and hope for the future of our families and our church.  The day offered time for prayer, sharing, fellowship, and wonderful food arranged by Michael and his family!!!  We ended the day with Mass, celebrated with us by Father Jim Schexnayder, a priest who has worked for inclusion for decades.  The photo above features Javier Plascencia reading during mass, he is standing in front of a table of photos.  Participants for the day brought photos of their kids, who were in our prayers all day.  There is a beautiful banner hanging high in this photo featuring the hands of Christ.  As parents we are literally the hands and Hugs of Jesus to our families and our community!We will offer more of these days of reflection in the future, hopefully there will be one near your area.This statement brought the comment of the day for me:  It seems like we've been having this conversation for 30 years. Well, we may have been singing the same song for years but the choir is certainly bigger now!!!!        

Flag of Urguay

A successful Senate vote in Uruguay means marriage equality is only formalities away from becoming legal in that nation, making it the twelfth nation globally and second South American one to do so. Historically Catholic nations, like Argentina and Uruguay, have begun a trend in that region and the Catholic Church’s role these matters plays heavily, especially now that Pope Francis oversees the global church with his Argentine background.

CNN.com reports that Uruguay legislators in the upper house approved the marriage equality measure in a 23-8 vote, sending it to the lower house, which successfully passed a similar law last year, and then onto the president for approval. The Catholic hierarchy in Uruguay has made similar statements to those made by then-Cardinal Bergoglio when marriage equality was at issue in Argentina: warnings about the destructive nature of same-gender marriage and threats to children have been prominent in both cases. Their words seem deafened now, as CNN.com reports:

“For years, it was rare to see gay rights issues gaining traction in Latin American countries.

“Not anymore, Javier Corrales, a professor of political science at Amherst College in Massachusetts, told CNN in 2010.

“‘Latin America currently has some of the most gay-friendly cities in the developing world,’ said Corrales, who ranked cities’ gay-friendliness in a book he co-edited, ‘The Politics of Sexuality in Latin America.’

“In 2009, Uruguay was the first Latin American country to allow same-sex couples to adopt children. It was also one the first Latin American countries to allow same-sex civil unions.”

In another South American nation, Colombia, legislators have begun to mull marriage equality,  while Mexico continues adjudicating its tensions of having regionally-legalized rights.

It is well documented at this point that Pope Francis’ record on LGBT rights is mixed, with harsh comments about same-gender marriage coupled alongside vocal support for civil unions.In Uruguay, bishops spoke fervently against passage of the bill. In Colombia, where the measure is expected to fail, there has been greater silence by the hierarchy.

An interview on Public Radio International’s The World program presents one explanation for why traditionally Catholic nations in South America are leading the world in LGBT rights and equality. Lester Feder is a journalist who recalls the powerful narrative of human rights that emerged in Latin America as an explanation for why the quick integration of LGBT rights into legal structures occurred.  Feder also proposes that the Catholic Church is less powerful than is thought:

“”But the Catholic Church, especially in Argentina is a cultural institution with a lot of history, but its a very secular country and it doesn’t have a lot of power in politics…So, we have a kind of monolithic notion of Latin America and the influence of the Catholic Church, but the reality is more complicated.”

As the papacy of Pope Francis seems to indicate a shifting tone from legalism to pastoral concern, perhaps his experiences with the trend of full equality in Latin America will shape the global hierarchy’s response from Rome.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Argentina, bisexual, Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio, Catholic, Church, CNN, Colombia, Gay, Latin America, legislation, lesbian, Lester Feder, LGBT, marriage equality, Pope, Pope Francis, Same-sex marriage, The World, Transgender, Uruguay

Responses  to Cardinal Dolan’s Easter Sunday comments keep pouring in.   If nothing else, it shows how his comments struck nerves, both positively and negatively.  It shows how much affirmative words from the hierarchy are needed, and it shows how important it is that the hierarchy go beyond just words to send a positive message to LGBT people.

Jamie Manson

The National Catholic Reporter,  columnist Jamie Manson, says she is

“. . . getting weary of bishops and cardinals who tell me how much they love my gay and lesbian friends and I, while at the same time willfully misunderstanding us, refusing to talk to us and devaluing our relationships.”

Her analysis continues by pointing out several actions that Dolan has taken recently that emphatically do not show love for LGBT people:

• Co-signing an anti-marriage equality document with some of the most vociferous anti-gay leaders of Evangelical churches.
• Refusing to respond to a letter and petition written by Joseph Amodeo, a former member of the junior board of Catholic Charities of the New York archdiocese, pleading with Dolan to meet with LGBT homeless youth, many of whom were thrown out of their homes by religious parents. Amodeo later resigned from the board, without public reaction from Dolan.
• Failing to speak out when his brother bishops and priests turn the Eucharist into a political weapon, denying communion to LGBT people and those who support marriage equality.

After reviewing similar actions and statements by San Francisco’s Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone and Pope Francis (when he was archbishop in Argentina), Manson provides an eloquent depiction of what true love is, which seems to echo St. Paul’s famous description in 1 Corinithians 13:

“While it may be true that Dolan, Cordileone and even the new pope are seeking a more pastoral approach to gays and lesbians, I really wish that they would stop calling it love.

“Love does not ignore letters pleading for dialogue and reconciliation.

“Love does not turn away spiritually hungry people from God’s Eucharistic table.

“Love does not use spiritually violent rhetoric against a marginalized community’s fight for justice.

“When we love another person, we genuinely desire to know her or him. When we love, we long to listen to the beloved and to learn his or her story. To love in this way, we must be authentically present to the beloved. This kind of love is risky because it demands vulnerability on the parts of both the lover and the beloved.

“If members of the hierarchy took the risk of truly listening to gay and lesbian couples, they might find, as the majority of U.S. Catholics have, that many of these couples equally embody the faithfulness, devotion, sacrifice and fruitfulness that characterize the best heterosexual relationships.

“They might open themselves up to the possibility that God is speaking new truths through the voices and lives of gay and lesbian couples and transgender persons. They might see that not only are same-sex couples entitled to equal rights and protection, they have as much potential to honor the institution of marriage as opposite-sex couples.”

Equally Blessed‘s Marianne Duddy-Burke and Mary Ellen Lopata, in an on-line New York Times op-ed, offer some suggetions to Cardinal Dolan to how he could back up his words of welcome with real actions. Among the items they suggest for the bishops are:

• Dropping opposition to immigration reform that would allow partners in same-sex couples to enter the U.S. legally
• Adopting anti-bullying programs in Catholic schools
• Changing to more pastoral tone and content when referring to LGBT people
• Dissociate the U.S. hierarchy from the National Organization for Marriage
• Abandon opposition to allowing lesbian and gay couples to adopting children.

They conclude their list with:

“Perhaps most important, the bishops should stop hiding from us. There is no reason the bishops, priests and deacons of every diocese in the United States cannot hold regular meetings with lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Catholics and their families to allow them to speak honestly about their experiences within the church. The result might not always be agreement, but at least it could be a spirit of respect and openness.

“We suspect that some of these recommendations will be received more warmly than others. But having them received at all would be progress for which we might one day have Cardinal Dolan to thank.”

(Equally Blessed is a coaltion of four national Catholic organizations which work for justice and equality for LGBT people in church and society.  The four organizations are Call To Action, DignityUSA, Fortunate Families, and New Ways Ministry.)

In a similar vein, Ross Murray of GLAAD (Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) in an online Washington Post op-ed, suggests three ways for Cardinal Dolan to back up his Easter Sunday message:

“1.Cardinal Dolan needs to stop talking about LGBT people and spend more time listening to them.”

“2.If Cardinal Dolan cannot talk about LGBT people without uttering words of condemnation, he should simply stop talking about LGBT people in general.”

“3.Cardinal Dolan could turn his stated love into tangible action that would help real LGBT people in their day-to-day lives.”

Murray elaborates on each of these three points in his essay, and he concludes with:

“God’s love is felt, not simply stated. When Cardinal Dolan makes such blatant attacks on LGBT people, it makes his ‘I love you and God loves you’ in front of the media ring hollow. Such expressions of love need to be backed up with tangible action. Do something that demonstrates that church leaders view LGBT people as more than a threat or a curse.

“Cardinal Dolan can keep saying that he loves us and God does too, but until he turns away from the camera to actually listen to the stories of our lives, these words will have no meaning.”

Clearly, Cardinal Dolan has his work cut out for him.  The challenge to him is the challenge that all Christians face: to make the Gospel incarnate in the world.  With all of the commentary and suggestions and support offered to him to do something tangible, Cardinal Dolan should have an easier time deciding what to do next.  The ball is in his court.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Adoption, anti-bullying, Call To Action, Cardinal Dolan, Catholic, DignityUSA, Easter, Equally Blessed, Fortunate Families, GLAAD, immigration, Jamie Manson, LGBT, National Catholic Reporter, New Ways Ministry, Ross Murray, Timothy M. Dolan, United States

In the context of the Supreme Court’s recent hearing of oral arguments in the two marriage equality cases, James Salt, executive director of Catholics United, a political organization, had this to say:

“Christ did indeed say many things, but let’s face it: not one of them was about condemning gay people. It’s troubling that so many people who claim to follow his word have such difficulty understanding his real message. Christ’s message was to bring good news to the poor, not to ostracize gays, inflame phobias or create division.”

You can read the full article in which this excerpt was quoted in The Vindicator, a newspaper from Liberty County, Texas.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Catholics United, Christ, Executive director, Gay, James Salt, lesbian, LGBT, marriage equality, Oral argument in the United States, Same-sex marriage, Supreme Court, Supreme Court of the United States, United States

This week began with Cardinal Timothy Dolan’s statement of pastoral outreach to lesbian and gay people, and the commentary and analysis of his remarks still hasn’t stopped.  I imagine that the cardinal did not realize that his comment would cause such a discussion, but it is good for the church that this conversation is taking place.

Sister Mary Ann Walsh

Sister Mary Ann Walsh, the director of media relations for the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB), wrote a Huffington Post essay in which she expressed surprise that people were stunned by Dolan’s positive gesture. Walsh explained that the Catholic Church has always welcomed gay and lesbian people:

“To reiterate Cardinal Dolan’s point: Gays are welcome in the church. So are divorced people. Heck, even in the rare instances that people are excommunicated, they’re still expected at Sunday Mass. Although some sects ban you from the property for violating their rules, the Catholic Church still wants you in the pew.”

But Sister Walsh’s comments illustrate the problem.Many people know that the Catholic Church officially welcomes everyone, yet a good number of people, especially gay and lesbian people, have not experienced that welcome.  One of the ways that welcome has been muted is by harsh rhetoric from Catholic hierarchical leaders, like Cardinal Dolan and the USCCB.  Is Sister Walsh aware that people have heard many negative messages from the bishops?  Is she aware that  her final sentence in the quotation above is not a welcoming one?

Sister Mary Ann Walsh

David Gibson, an author on Catholic topics who writes for Religion News Service, points out more specific examples of how the bishops have not communicated a welcome:

“During the 2012 presidential campaign, a number of bishops said that those who support civil marriage for gays should be barred from Communion, and Dolan and other bishops cast the battle over gay marriage, and against Obama, in almost apocalyptic terms.

“Other church leaders used especially harsh language to describe gays and lesbians, and some barred children from attending Catholic schools because their parents are gay. Many also equated support for civil marriage for gays with support for abortion, an action that is grounds for automatic excommunication.”

Gibson points to two reasons why Cardinal Dolan may have made his message when he did:  1) a change in leadership style toward a more pastoral approach, exemplified by Pope Francis; 2) the shift occurring in public opinion towards greater acceptance of marriage equality.

Sister Simone Campbell, the executive director of NETWORK, a Catholic social justice lobby, and the leader of last summer’s popular “Nuns on the Bus” tour, also looks at the example of Pope Francis as a sign of hope for a shift in leadership and rhetoric from other church hierarchs.  In a Washington Post “On Faith” essay, she wrote:

Sister Simone Campbell

“My deepest hope is that he [Pope Francis] will lead our church in embracing all people who feel they have been marginalized or cast out because of stridency and cruelty they have encountered in our church. Too often we have been a hurtful structure rather than a caring community. Members of LGBT communities have been particularly harmed, and that is wrong.

“The Gospels are filled with examples of Jesus teaching us to reach out to and welcome those who have been marginalized by others. Jesus reached out to the lepers, healed the Roman occupier’s son, asked the Samaritan woman for help, and prevented the woman taken in adultery from being stoned by judgmental men. Pope Francis seems to understand this better than many, and we now have examples of people like Cardinal Dolan making some progress in following Christ’s example.”

Sister Campbell points to Cardinal Dolan’s words in his Easter homily at St. Patrick’s Cathedral as yet another sign of expectant change.  Dolan said:

“The Church, with a capital ‘C’, is undergoing renewal, repair, resurrection. I kind of think we’re seeing it today in a particularly fresh and new way with our beloved Holy Father.”

Michael O’Loughlin

Michael O’Loughlin, who blogs on “Church and State” issues for BustedHalo.com, a website for young adult Catholics, agrees with Gibson that the change in style may be due to the shift in public opinion on marriage equality, particularly among young people:

Recognizing perhaps that the Church is losing its young members on the issue of same-sex marriage, and perhaps understanding that the battle may be lost entirely, some leaders are beginning to soften their tone. Remember, there’s two parts to the teaching in the catechism: homosexual acts are immoral, we’re told, but all gay people must be treated with respect and dignity. Perhaps the Church is beginning a campaign to emphasize the latter after so many years of touting the former?

O’Loughlin also seems to agree with New Ways Ministry’s suggestion in its initial statement on Cardinal Dolan’s comments that dialogue with LGBT Catholics is the important next step New York’s archbishop:

“As Pope Francis continues to demonstrate so powerfully, symbolism matters. So imagine the powerful image of a senior Catholic prelate sitting down to share a meal with a gay couple and engaging in friendly dialogue about how the Church might make their family feel more welcome in parish life. There’d be no implicit approval of same-sex marriage or conversation about moral theology. Instead, just a pastor and two faithful Catholics exploring ways to live out radical hospitality. Though it seems obvious at first glance, engaging gay and lesbian Catholics in dialogue about their experiences would be a radical shift in how the Church approaches these issues.”

Indeed, DignityUSA, a national organization of LGBT Catholics and allies, has called upon Dolan to dialogue with its members and leadership.  In an open letter to Cardinal Dolan this week, Dignity’s leadership stated:

“We sincerely hope and pray that your recent comments mark the beginning of a new chapter in the relationship between the Bishops and LGBT Catholics, as well as the majority of U.S. Catholics who have shown themselves to be increasingly supportive of LGBT people.  To that end, we feel it is important to set a definite date to resume a dialogue that has been suspended for far too long.  We suggest a meeting before Pentecost, or at the earliest possible date, in either New York City or Washington, D.C.  If you would let us know your availability, we will make every effort to arrange our schedules to accommodate yours.”

John Corvino

Finally,  just a quick note about reactions to New Ways Ministry’s characterization of Cardinal Dolan’s comments as “an Easter miracle.”   Earlier this week, John Corvino, a philosophy professor at Wayne State University, and author of several works on LGBT issues, took exception to this characterization by stating in a Huffington Post essay:

“I give the man credit for taking a more positive and welcoming tone, and sincerely hope that his fellow Christians take note. At the same time, it’s a sign of how low the bar is set when comments like Dolan’s inspire such interest and excitement. For example, Francis DeBernardo, Executive Director of the gay Catholic group New Ways Ministry, called Dolan’s remarks ‘nothing short of an Easter miracle.’ “

“Really? Rising from the dead is an Easter miracle. Marshmallow Peeps are an Easter miracle. (You can put them in your pantry for a decade, and they won’t decay. It’s true.) But a Christian leader saying ‘Hey, maybe we shouldn’t attack gay people’? That’s just common decency, not to mention good strategy — especially in a world where a majority of American Catholics support equal marriage rights for same-sex couples.”

I mention this statement because several blog readers argued along similar lines in the “Comments” section of the original post on Easter Sunday.    Was Dolan sincere?  Were his comments too little, too late?  Does Dolan’s continued opposition to marriage equality cancel out his outreach?

I appreciate where all of these people are coming from, yet I still see Dolan’s statement as a hopeful sign.   For one, it is a major shift that he has said anything positive to lesbian and gay people, whatever his motivation.  This is new.  Will it be the beginning of a new era of openness?  Time will tell.  But whatever happens, it will be very difficult for Dolan and other bishops not to make positive statements in the future.

Secondly,  the quotation about “Easter miracle” was taken out of context and isolated as a single statement, thus allowing it to be interpreted in a variety of ways.  Here’s what the original statement said:

“This is the first time that the cardinal has made such a positive statement about God’s love for lesbian and gay people.  Such a statement is a refreshing change from the usual harsh rhetoric that the church hierarchy uses when discussing LGBT issues.  It is a significant sign of welcome and outreach.  Cardinal Dolan’s statement is nothing short of an Easter miracle.

“Cardinal Dolan now has to back up these words with actions.  Later in the interview he said that church leaders ‘gotta listen to people,’ referring to lesbian and gay persons.  If Dolan meant what he said, he should open a dialogue with lesbian and gay people, especially Catholics, to learn more about their pain and struggle , but also about their joy and faith.  New Ways Ministry stands ready to help Dolan identify people with whom he can begin to dialogue.”

An Easter miracle?  Yes, but it has to be backed up by actions.  Are Dolan’s words “baby steps,”  as Corvino characterizes them?  I don’t think so.  I think they signal a shift, which even if it is only “window dressing” could have a major impact on how Catholicism approaches LGBT issues.  If bishops begin speaking positively, even if only as a style change, it can affect the way that many traditional Catholics speak and think about these issues.  And when thought changes, eventually policy changes, too.

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Busted Halo, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, Catholic, Catholic Church, David Gibson, DignityUSA, Easter, Gay, huffington post, John Corvino, lesbian, LGBT, Michael O'Loughlin, New Ways Ministry, Pope Francis, Religion News Service, Sister Mary Ann Walsh, Timothy Dolan, welcome

Nicholas Coppola, left, with husband, David

Last Sunday, Cardinal Dolan spoke to the need for improved Catholic outreach to the LGBT community. Many Catholics questioned his sincerity, and they asked for dialogue on the hierarchy’s part to reinforce the statements. The experiences of Nicholas Coppola, a gay Catholic man in New York, are a disheartening reminder of how some church leaders continue to treat LGBT Catholics poorly — and an opportunity for Cardinal Dolan and others to change a broken dynamic.

GLAAD’s blog reports that Mr. Coppola was an active leader at St. Antony’s parish on Long Island until January. He participated in liturgical ministries, was a religious education instructor, and aided ministries for homebound parishioners, the grieving, and the St. Vincent de Paul Society. The blog notes:

“He has been completely out to his parish for years, and has had the support of his priest and fellow parishioners. Mr. Coppola and his husband, David were married on October 27, 2012. A number of parishioners attended their wedding.

“Upon returning from his honeymoon in January, Mr. Coppola was called into the office of Fr. Nicholas Lombardi S.J., the pastor of St. Anthony…

“Fr. Lombardi stated that Mr. Coppola must be removed from all parish involvement. The reason stated was that Mr. Coppola made a public statement by getting married, which is against church teaching.”

Fr. Lombardi acted against Mr. Coppola upon receiving a fax from the Diocese of Rockville Centre that included an anonymous letter written to Bishop William Murphy identifying Nicholas Coppola as a married gay man involved in parish activities. The Diocese’s fax acknowledged that the anonymous nature of the letter undermines it, but that if there were a ” ‘married’ ” gay catechist it “would be of concern” to Fr. Lombardi. In GLAAD’s blog post, Mr. Coppola recalls the meeting that ensued:

“‘I was in shock. I had just come home from my honeymoon. I went to mass on Martin Luther King Day, where we heard a great sermon about justice and equality,’ said Mr. Coppola, recalling the meeting. ‘After mass, I was summoned into the pastor’s office and told that I could no longer be active in my own parish.’

“Mr. Coppola has had two meetings with the Diocese of Rockville Centre, and was informed that the bishop’s ‘hands were tied.’ While the Roman Catholic hierarchy states that it wishes to welcome gay and lesbian people into the church, being in a loving, committed relationship, and seeking protections for that relationship and for one another through civil marriage will exclude one from parish life.”

Mr. Coppola is the latest victim of exclusionary policies from the Catholic hierarchy that deny the gifts LGBT Catholic individuals and their families offer to our parishes and communities. Cardinal Dolan’s and other bishops’ Easter messages about improving LGBT outreach will mean nothing if cases like Mr. Coppola’s continue to occur.

However, Mr. Coppola continues to pray that a new vision of church will emerge:

“I want a church that is open to all and loves each one of us the same.”

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: bisexual, Bishop, Bishop William Murphy, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, Catholic, Catholicism, Christian, Diocese of Rockville Centre, Gay, GLAAD, Homosexuality, lesbian, LGBT, Long Island, ministry, New York, Nicholas Coppola, parish, religion, Ross Murray, St. Antony Catholic Church, Transgender

Mary Jo and Norm Bowers, Catholic parents with a lesbian daughter

The trend of LGBT individuals exiting the Catholic churches of childhood is now expanding to include their parents, too. Many clergy and ministers try to balance pastoral care with doctrinal statements, and some Catholic parents of LGBT children are finding the results inadequate. WBEZ, a Chicago public radio station, profiled several Catholic couples with children of varying sexual orientations and gender identities to understand further the parents’ relationship with the Church.

Toni and Tom Weaver explain how combining their love for their gay son with their strong Catholic identities is an evolving process. Toni describes herself as an active member of her parish in the music ministries and through daily Mass attendance. Their son, Michael came out the day after graduating college, and Toni believes her warm embrace in that moment would not always have been true. WBEZ reports:

“’If he had come out to me 10 years earlier, I’m not sure what my response would have been,’ Toni said. ‘I was definitely very traditionally Catholic and had even been moving in Evangelical circles. I was the first one to preach that homosexuality was wrong.’

“But Weaver said she came to a fuller understanding of homosexuality when she began studying for a master’s degree in theology:

“’Here were people who were gay who were being treated atrociously, and they were being denied their basic rights, and they were the butt of jokes…It finally dawned on me that people don’t choose their sexual orientation. That for me was an absolute turning point, and I attribute it to the work of the spirit.’”

The Weavers welcome their gay son, and then sought to alter the attitudes of Catholics around them, but were harmed when a bishop’s letter condemning marriage equality was read during Mass. This episode triggered the Weavers to permanently leave their Catholic parish:

“’I think that was the first time I felt slapped in the face by my church…I stood up, we were sitting in the middle of the pew. I stood up, and I turned toward the door and walked out. I grieved the church for 18 months. I grieved it. Something had died in my life.’”

Other parents remain split on how to engage Catholic communities, like Norm and Mary Jo Bowers who have a married lesbian daughter with two children baptized in the Church. Mary Jo left the Church, but her husband remains with a highly localized perspective:

“’I’ve told my pastor, I said, ‘To me my whole religion is this parish. It stays within the confines of this parish…I have nothing anymore to do with the hierarchy and what comes out of Rome’…

“Norm Bowers said he was offended by that and by a column in a Catholic paper. A priest wrote that children raised by gay couples might grow up ‘confused.’

“’I said to myself, which Catholic who has a brain isn’t confused in the Catholic church today?’”

Parents who remain, like Norm Bowers, find the positives in their local parishes and maintain hope that, under a new pope, perhaps the tone will change to something more pastorally-inclined. They also benefit from supportive clergy, like Fr. Bill Tkachuk of St. Nicholas Parish in Evanston, Illinois who compliments parishioner’s efforts to create an LGBT-affirming Catholic community:

“[Fr. Tkachuk] said the church needs to be more sensitive to families in the way it talks about gays and gay issues: ‘Speaking in the language that people can hear with their hearts and accept with their hearts, as opposed to a more academic language that can be received as very hurtful, even if it’s not intended that way.’

“His parishioners recently wrote to Cardinal Francis George of Chicago. They objected to a letter in which the cardinal called civil unions a ‘legal fiction,’ and gay marriage ‘contrary to the common sense of the human race.’”

Barbara Marian and her husband now commute over an hour to St. Nicholas each week after having too many negative experiences in her local parish. Barbara has a lesbian daughter, along with three nieces and a nephew who identify as LGBT and sees no plausible way to leave the Catholic Church:

“’We live with love for these neighbors, colleagues and children and we see them as whole persons,’ Marian said. ‘We don’t focus on the small part of their lives that involves their genitalia.’…

“‘I am Catholic through and through and through,’ Marian said. ‘There is no separating me from the church. Although it brings me to my knees with anger and tears when the bishops make a statement and strafe my community, I bleed.’”

As growing numbers of Catholics and parishes support LGBT equality, and as more children feel safe coming out to their families, anti-gay efforts by Catholic bishops will continue affecting long-term parishioners who refuse to remain or stay silent when they watch their children come under attack.

A good resource for Catholic parents of all sorts–those who are struggling with accepting a child’s orientation, those who are struggling with church structures, those who want to become more involved with equality issues–is Fortunate Families, a national network of Catholic parents of LGBT sons and daughters.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: 91.5, acceptance, bisexual, Catholic, Chicago, children, Church, Evanston, Family, Fr. Bill Tkachuk, Gay, lesbian, LGBT, love, Mary Jo Bowers, Michael Weaver, Norman Bowers, Parent, parenting, religion, St. Nicholas parish, Tom Weaver, Toni Weaver, trans, Transgender, WBEZ

Nate Tisa of Georgetown University

Students at leading Catholic colleges continue electing openly gay peers to lead campus governing bodies, in a widening trend of greater LGBT acceptance in Catholic higher education.

The student body elected Nate Tisa as President of the Georgetown University Student Association in early March, marking the first election of an openly gay candidate at that Washington, DC school and the second at a Jesuit-sponsored institution following University of San Francisco’s lead in 2003. The Hoya, a Georgetown student newspaper, reported on the significance of Tisa’s election :

“[Tisa] was sworn in with the book ‘Taking a Chance on God’ by JohnMcNeill, a gay (resigned] Jesuit priest. He said he chose the book because it redefines Catholicism in a way that affirms LGBTQ Catholics and other groups.

“’I thought it had special significance at Georgetown, where our Catholic and Jesuit identity is a strong and crucial part of our heritage that can promote, rather than conflict with, our values of diversity, inclusion and the dignity of all members of our community,’ Tisa said.”

Anthony Alfano of DePaul University

Other Catholic colleges have also elected openly gay student leaders in recent years. Anthony Alfano presided over student government at the US’s largest Catholic college, DePaul University, Chicago, in 2011-12 as an out gay student. Ryan Fecteau was Speaker of the Student Association at The Catholic University of America, Washington, DC, last year, after co-leading CUAllies, the rejected LGBT student group. Fecteau spoke to Bondings 2.0 about his role within this broader trend of LGBT student leadership:

“There is much to be said about the call students are making to their administrators and their Chruch with my election as the first openly gay speaker at Catholic University, Anthony Alfano at DePaul, and now Nate [Tisa] at Georgetown. While there is much progress to be made, students are telling their peers that being LGBT does not prevent you from being an effective leader–even on a Catholic campus.”

At the University of Notre Dame, student newspaper The Observer reported on Alex Coccia’s election as president of the student body for this upcoming year after he was active as a straight ally in the successful 4 to 5 Movement that won greater LGBT student support from the South Bend, Indiana university in late 2012. Coccia also spoke to Bondings 2.0, saying:

Ryan Fecteau of The Catholic University of America

“With the 4 to 5 Movement, we built a broad-base of support for initiatives aimed at creating a more welcoming and inclusive environment for LGBTQ students, faculty, and staff…I think we all recognize that this is an exciting time for Notre Dame.  As a University, we’ve made a commitment to become a more welcoming University through recognizing the gay-straight alliance organization.  There was a sense that Student Government has an important potential to take the lead on these larger issues that affect student well-being on campus…

“The trend of prominent LGBTQ and Ally individuals being elected to leadership positions shows an increase in passion and drive from our generation — a willingness to work together to ensure that each individual’s dignity is protected.”

Alex Coccia of the University of Notre Dame

While hopeful that their elections signal a groundswell of LGBT inclusion on Catholic campuses and planning to continue efforts, each of these leaders has and intends to focus on the good of students-at-large. As a member of student government, Fecteau battled the administration’s implementation of mandatory single-sex housing and worked to improve safety on campus grounds. Both upcoming presidents laid out plans that include the expansion of free-speech on campus and an attempt at gender-neutral housing by Tisa, and the implementation of Notre Dame’s LGBT pastoral plan and town halls with Student Affairs by Coccia

Clearly, these student leaders recognize the significance of their elections as openly gay students or publicly straight allies within Catholic higher education. After the elections though, they demonstrate that LGBT students on campus express similar concerns to college students nationwide about housing, safety, quality of their education, and the abundant topics filling student government meetings. New Ways Ministry applauds Anthony, Nate, Ryan, and Alex in leading their campuses and advocating for LGBT dignity within Catholicism.

–Bob Shine, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Alex Coccia, Anthony Alfano, bisexual, college, DePaul University, education, Election, Gay, Georgetown University, GLBT, Government, higher education, lesbian, LGBT, LGBTQ, Nate Tisa, president, Ryan Fecteau, SAGA, student, The Catholic University of America, The Hoya, The Observer, Transgender, University, University of Notre Dame

Easter Sunday morning turned out to be an opportunity for senior Catholic clerics to hit the airwaves with messages about LGBT issues.  Not a surprise, given the fact that the Supreme Court heard two cases this past week about marriage equality.

Yesterday, we reported on New York’s Cardinal Timothy Dolan message of pastoral outreach to lesbian and gay Catholics. We urged him to open a dialogue with lesbian and gay people as the way to follow through with his suggestion that church leaders need to listen better to those who feel alienated from the church.  Cardinal Dolan also took the opportunity to defend the hierarchy’s view that marriage should be reserved for heterosexual couples.

Cardinal Donald Wuerl

Washington, DC’s Cardinal Donald Wuerl also made a television appearance yesterday in which he discussed welcoming lesbian and gay people, but his outreach was a little more restrained.  Speaking on Fox News Sunday,  Wuerl was asked if the Catholic church should welcome gay and lesbian couples who are legally married.  His answer, according to the news website Rawstory, was:

“. . . we do that same thing with people who are married, divorced and remarried.  We say, you know, you’re still part of the family, but we can’t recognize that second marriage. It’s never been a great problem. It’s painful for all of us to have to realize that making our way through life is difficult and that we can’t always be as perfect as we like to be.”

Cardinal Wuerl should check with remarried people to see if, in fact, they feel as welcomed by the church as he thinks they should be.

Wuerl also used his television appearance to make a quasi-religious liberty argument, saying that those who, like himself, oppose marriage equality need to be tolerated better by society:

“The only thing I worry about is someone saying to me, ‘You, because you believe that sex is intended for marriage and because you believe that marriage is indissoluble and because you believe that marriage is between a man and a woman that somehow you don’t belong here, that somehow this is bigotry or this is hate speech.’ That’s what I worry about. There has to be room enough in a society as large, as free as pluralistic as America to make space for all of us.”

Cardinal Theodore McCarrick

Wuerl’s predecessor as Archbishop of Washington, Cardinal Theodore McCarrick appeared on Bloomberg’s “Political Capital with Al Hunt, and defended the idea of civil unions for lesbian and gay couples.   The Christian Science Monitor reports:

“Cardinal McCarrick said he has ‘no problem’ with civil unions for gay couples that confer the same rights as marriage.”

“I certainly would prefer that to what I could call ‘a marriage,’ in quotes,” Cardinal McCarrick said.

McCarrick joins a growing chorus of bishops, including Pope Francis who have endorsed civil unions as an alternative to marriage–a compromise that was unthinkable only a few years ago.

McCarrick also acknowledged that society faces more challenging tests to heterosexual marriage than marriage equality:

“ ‘Same-sex marriage is not at this point prevalent in our society, and probably won’t be’ because gays are a minority, McCarrick told Bloomberg. Children whose parents divorce or are born out of wedlock, he said, ‘find themselves out on a limb,’ which ‘is a serious problem in our society.’ ”

–Francis DeBernardo, New Ways Ministry

Tagged: Cardinal Donald Wuerl, Cardinal Theodore McCarrick, Cardinal Timothy Dolan, Catholic, Catholic Church, Catholicism, Christian Science Monitor, Easter, Fox News Sunday, Gay, lesbian, LGBT, marriage equality, Same-sex marriage, Timothy M. Dolan